While You Were Out
by broken-quill24
Summary: The following events take place between Artemis Fowl II's sudden disappearance from Taipei and his return, 3 years later, on a mysterious island off the coast of Ireland. A collection of one-shots. Various POV and ships. Updated, at last!
1. Gone

Gone

Prologue

_Good bye world, he thought. One way or another._

_And he ripped the bracelet off, flinging it into the air. Now the demonkind were no longer anchored to this dimension. For a second there was no obvious reaction to this, but then, just as they were passing between the first of the lower sky scrapers, a revolving purple trapezoid opened in the sky and swallowed them as neatly as a kid catching a Cheerio in his mouth. _

_-_The Lost Colony, Eoin Colfer


	2. Departure

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.

Butler

_Butler staggered back from the window, trying to process what he had seen. Holly's wings had failed, that much was clear, but then what? What?_

*****

_The inspector turned to pursue his inquiries, then stopped._

"_The curator said there was another person. A boy. A friend of yours?"_

"_Yes. And no. He's my son. Arty."_

"_I don't see him around."_

"_He just stepped out, but he'll be back."_

"_Are you sure?"_

_Butler's eyes lost their focus, "Yes, I'm sure. He told me."_

*****

All of Butler's senses seemed to numb as he walked out of Taipei 101, Minerva trailing behind him. He wasn't looking where he was going, nor could he hear the usual roar of Taipei traffic around him. His usual hyper-awareness of his surroundings was lost. His legs and feet moved without purpose, without a destination. Occasionally his eyes strayed up to the smog stained sky above him, willing it with all his might to tear open like an overstuffed book bag and drop Artemis back into his home dimension. Back to Butler, his parents and relative safety.

Suddenly, the sidewalk ran out under Butler's feet and he felt a small hand clutch the back of his suit, halting him. Looking over his shoulder, Butler saw Minerva looking up at him, a look of distain on her face.

"You almost walked in front of a car," she commented dryly, "You'd think by now some of Artemis' intelligence would have rubbed off on you, but…"

Butler shrugged the girl off, knowing full well that he could have easily survived a collision with any of the many compact cars that filled the city's streets. However, getting hit by a car wasn't high on his list of priorities at the moment and patiently waited for a break in traffic before crossing the street.

"There's the car." Minerva pointed at the Lexus. Butler looked up and headed towards the vehicle, steps getting more deliberate by the second. He needed time to think, to plan, to meditate, to analyze and process, but he'd have to wait until they were in the air again. Minerva was right; he couldn't let his thoughts drift while they were on the road.

*****

Once the Lear jet had reached cruising height, Butler set the craft on autopilot and went to check on Minerva. He felt strangely protective of the girl, as though she was his principal and not Artemis. Perhaps his need to protect had just transferred onto the next most vulnerable subject, but then again, it might have just been Artemis' general concern for the girl that prodded him to shield her from harm.

Opening the door slowly, he looked into the passenger section of the plane. Seated in one of the plane's expensive champagne coloured leather seats, Minerva Paradizo slept peacefully, her head propped up by her hand. Like Artemis, she quietly mumbled aloud her various worries while asleep.

"Daddy….Kong…..he…..the demon and that fairy girl……my Nobel Prize…."

Butler smiled sadly at the girl and, as silently as possible, pulled a blanket from a storage compartment. Without touching Minerva, Butler set the blanket over her and stepped back into the front of the plane. It was important to Butler that the girl sleep as long as possible, thus the blanket for more comfort. He needed the quiet time to think.

Butler sank into the pilot's chair and stared out into the blue abyss in front of him. Once again, he wished the sky would open and Artemis would appear, but he was not disillusioned. He knew it couldn't happen, wouldn't. Minerva was wrong, some of Artemis' intelligence and logic had rubbed off on him. Although he could barely comprehend time travel, or dimension travel or whatever it was, he knew that wherever Limbo was, time passed differently than on Earth. Only Artemis and Foaly knew how to predict when the time stream would open, and while Foaly was fully capable of figuring out the complicated math, they had concluded that the spell keeping the island of Hybras in Limbo was deteriorating. Even Artemis' calculations couldn't be trusted anymore. There was no way of telling when the group would return, or where.

'Or if they'll come back at all!' Butler thought, dread filling him. What did it matter if Minerva was safe with him in this dimension, if Artemis was wounded or dying in another without him? Suddenly, Butler wished not for Artemis to come back, but to be with his friend in Limbo. He had been reluctant to leave Artemis in the first place, and now regretted it deeply. Horrible thoughts swirled through his head, images of Artemis being injured or killed in every imaginable way. They were dealing with demons, an extremely complicated bomb, and whatever else Hybras had to cook up right this second without him! Artemis may be one of, or _the_ brightest kid out there, but Butler doubted he could survive- A single, commanding thought suddenly radiated through his brain, stopping the torrent of worry and stress:

TRUST ARTEMIS.

Butler sighed and tried to relax his shoulders. The overwhelming truth of the thought seemed to comfort him and give him hope. After all these years, hadn't the one thing Butler learned was to trust his friend? Through all of their adventures, how many times had Butler doubted Artemis' ability to survive and be surprised? The kid may have been skinny, weak and somewhat clumsy but the truth was, it was his mind and his ability to push himself past his comfort zone and his physical limits that always saved the day. He may not be able to bench press his body weight, but Butler had seen Artemis accomplish some amazing feats in his time and for that reason, he trusted him unconditionally.

And now that he thought of it, Butler also trusted Holly to keep Artemis safe. The elf had proven herself time and time again and unless she got mortally wounded, Butler knew she would always stand up for Artemis. Whether it was because they were friends or because she shared Butler's need to protect Artemis, she had always stayed by the boy's side, and Butler knew that one day, he would have to sincerely thank the Captain for it.

A quiet beeping drew Butler's attention to the plane's control panel. They were getting close to the airport where Minerva's father would meet her, once Butler called him, that is. Butler marveled at how quickly the flight had passed and wondered if during his meditation he had fallen asleep. Butler switched the autopilot off and took control of the jet, starting the descent into southern France.

*****

Instead of coming to the airport himself, Mr. Paradizo sent Juan Soto to pick up Minerva. Apparently, he was too busy overseeing the repairs at the mansion but sent his good wishes.

The giant bodyguard and the tiny blonde girl stood silently, side by side in the terminal, waiting for Soto. They hadn't said a word since getting on the plane in Taipei. Minerva stood with her back to Butler, arms crossed and brow furrowed. Butler couldn't gage her emotions, but he could tell from her body language that she wasn't feeling like talking. Butler heaved another sigh, he would have to get used to this moody behavior before Artemis got back.

Finally, Minerva broke the silence, speaking over her shoulder at the giant bodyguard.

"Thanks for helping me so much… even though I'm not your principle. I really hope that Artemis comes back someday, and that demon- er, Holly too. You saved me even though I've been nothing but horrible to all of you."

Butler smiled, "Don't worry about it. I think Artemis appreciated the opportunity to have his intellect challenged. Plus, you captured Number 1 for him, which was a great help in the end. I think you'd find that Artemis is a pretty good kid, once you got to know him."

"I really burned _that_ bridge didn't I?"

"Just enjoy being a kid Ms. Paradizo," he said in reply, "Artemis grew up way too fast, and its ruined his innocence. Enjoy being young and free," he then laughed, surprised at how wise his words had sounded.

"I'll try. Thank you again."

It was then that Juan Soto entered the terminal and strode towards Minerva, a look of relief on his face. Butler looked the security captain in the eyes and nodded before turning his back and leaving the airport.

"Now comes to hard part," he thought ominously, "Mr. and Mrs. Fowl."


	3. Out of Control

Foaly

"_Perfect, you genius," said Foaly, congratulating himself. Sometimes his own achievements brought a tear to his eye._

"_I wish Caballine could have seen that"…._

"_Sometimes I think you don't quite get the gravity of field missions" - _Holly to Foaly

"Holly? Holly! Can you hear me?!"

Foaly's fingers flew across the computer keyboard; hacking camera after camera, following Holly, Artemis and the two demon's decent through the Taipei sky. The camera's were all stationed on top of, or inside the surrounding skyscrapers, made for filming traffic and weather conditions for the local news stations and created an almost 360 degree view of the area.

He knew from their earlier communications that the hit man, Billy Kong had left them a giant explosive device to deal with, along with everything else, and Artemis' plan was to diffuse the bomb before dropping it over the ocean. Unfortunately, the wind was very strong, and along with the extra weight of Artemis, the bomb and the two demons, Holly's wings had failed shortly after take off.

"Holly, come in Holly! D'Arvit! Do something!"

Now, he watched them plummet through the sky like rocks. He mashed the keys furiously, trying to hack into Holly's wrist computer and helmet, but he knew it wouldn't make a difference. They were seconds from hitting the pavement below. Not even time for a goodbye.

"Think Mud Boy, think! Come on!"

With almost a sick fascination, Foaly followed the group's fall, switching from angle to angle. Suddenly, he noticed Artemis, moving, reaching up towards the younger demon's arm, from which hung a silver bangle. Foaly held his breath, he understood. That boy never ceased to amaze him, even seconds from death. Pushing up against wind and gravity, Foaly watched Artemis grab the silver bracelet and throw it into the air. Nothing happened. Foaly gripped the edge of his desk, knuckles white and teeth clenched until-

From out of thin air, a spinning purple tear opened in the fabric of time and space, swallowing the group, transporting them, hopefully, to Hybras. Foaly leaned back into his specially adapted chair, not knowing whether to be grateful or sad. They had escaped death, but would Hybras be any better?

"Foaly? Foaly, what's going on? I heard you shouting?"

Foaly whirled around to see Vinyaya, a fellow member of section 8 and former Wing Commander for the Police Academy flight school and one of Holly's friends. He smiled weakly at her.

"What? What is it? Is it something with Fowl and Holly?"

Foaly dipped his chin, "They just retrieved two demons and opened the time stream. I think they tried to go to Hybras, but I'm not sure if they'll make it."

Vinyaya ran a hand through her hair and leaned one hip against the door frame. She looked as tired as Foaly felt, "You don't think they'll make it?"

"All the calculations we've made in the past few months are unreliable now. The time spell is unraveling. They could come back anytime, or not at all….There's too many factors!" With a frustrated whinny, Foaly slammed his fist on the desk. He hated feeling out of control.

Vinyaya stepped towards him and squeezed his shoulder gently, "Stop worrying. You know that kid's smart, he'll get them out of there."

"At what expense though? Holly? Haven? The entire fairy race?"

The elf sighed, "I thought you said he'd changed. I mean, we let him down here into Section 8. That has to count for something."

"You're right," Foaly said, though not convinced himself, "We just have to trust him."

"And not just him," Vinyaya noted, "Captain Short has proved herself time and time again in life threatening situations."

Foaly straightened up again as pushed his chair back from the computer. "You're right. Let's go home, and trust that they'll do the same someday."

Vinyaya patted him on the back and led him out of the Section 8 Ops Booth, "You just need something to get your mind off the whole thing. How about calling Caballine? I know this great restaurant-hey, how does a double date sound? I met this really nice elf a few weeks-"

Foaly only half-listened to Vinyaya chatter away happily as they walked down the hall and out of headquarters. As a typical paranoid centaur, just as with an experienced body guard, trust was a difficult thing to gain, and giving up control in a time of crisis was going to be even harder.

*****


	4. Indecision and Wonderful News

Butler

If Butler had thought the trip from Taipei to France quick, he was astounded by the speed at which he arrived back in Fowl Manor. On the flight as well as the drive home, his worries kept him more than occupied and when the giant metal manor gates opened, he was surprised, as though the entire trip had been a dream. His main worry now was how he was going to explain Artemis' situation to Mr. and Mrs. Fowl.

Thankfully, Fowl Manor was empty when Butler arrived. Stepping out of the Bentley, Butler gazed up at the imposing castle that was Artemis' home. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him that he wouldn't be staying here much longer.

Abandoning his usual practice of meditation, Butler headed straight to the gym to think. This would serve two purposes, besides getting to work out what to say to Artemis' parents, he'd also work out some of his built up frustration.

Ten minutes later, he was spinning, kicking and punching invisible opponents like a mad man. His mind whirled now only slightly less than his fists and he was finally able to collect his thoughts.

'If I tell them a lie, they'll want to go visit Artemis wherever he is, but if I tell them the truth, will they think me insane? Worse, will they think him dead? No, Artemis will come back. But then again, if he comes back, what does it matter where he was? No, because then they'd want to visit him. What if I convinced Foaly or Mulch or someone from Haven to come and meet them? Maybe they'd believe me then, but probably not. Or what if I….. What ever I tell them, I have to convey that Artemis is alive and well. The Fowls really don't need another 'presumed dead' family member. God knows how much trouble the first one got Artemis into….'

Butler's thoughts lasted him to the end of his workout, till sweat dripped down his forehead and off the tip of his nose and his magically aged muscles screamed for respite. He had made up his mind. The answer had been clear to him at the beginning, but he had evaded it because of its delicate and complex nature. Yes, it was the truth. It was all Butler could do to keep Mr. and Mrs. Fowl from going and searching for Artemis, even if…..even if they did think Butler mad and their oldest son dead.

After showering and dressing himself in a casual outfit of khakis and a button up shirt, Butler sat in the kitchen, waiting for Angeline and Artemis I to come back home. There were no notes left out on the kitchen counter, alerting that the couple had left for any reason. They probably thought that Artemis and Butler wouldn't be back in time to miss them anyway. Sadly though, it was Mr. and Mrs. Fowl that would be doing the missing when they came back.

*****

The first sound Butler heard when the manor's giant front doors opened was laughter. He stood up from his place at the bar and moved, in what seemed like slow motion towards the front hall. He felt like Death, like a specter coming to steal the Fowl parents' happiness away. Dread slowly filled his heart.

Angeline's smile lit up the entrance hall and Artemis Senior's deep laugh echoed off the marble floor and up into the roof. They look like newlyweds, Butler thought as Artemis hugged Angeline around the waist and swung her around in a circle, making her laugh even more.

"Butler!" Angeline called, breathless, "I didn't see you there. Is Arty home yet?"

'Isn't _that_ the question of the day,' Butler thought sardonically to himself.

"Yes, we haven't seen much of Artemis lately. I hope he's not spreading himself too thin."

Butler smiled grimly at both of them; his tongue seemed to have stopped working.

"Come now Butler, where is he? We have some wonderful news to tell him," Angeline asked, her tone still light and carefree.

"Wonderful news?" Butler managed to choke out, sensing that his task was about to get much more difficult.

Artemis stood behind Angeline and took her by the shoulders. With a smile, he stage whispered in her ear, "Should we tell him?"

Angeline turned into her husband's chest, "I wanted to wait until Arty got home. Butler, please tell us, will he be long?"

Butler lied impulsively, caught up in the moment, "A few more weeks at least Madam. If you wish, I will pass on the information to him, via email."

Artemis frowned, "A few weeks? What is he doing anyway? Is this another school trip? He's certainly been on a lot of those lately."

"I don't mean to intrude Sir, but the information may entice Artemis to come home sooner. I am uncomfortable from being away from him so long too. The school has banned me from attending all school functions, even trips," Butler quickly fabricated. He was strangely eager to learn this exciting news, even if it wouldn't have the results Mr. and Mrs. Fowl expected.

"Let's sit in the parlor and have some tea first. Would you kindly make us-" Angeline asked, but Butler had already disappeared into the kitchen, glad to be away from the happy couple.

*****

Once the tea had been made and everyone was seated, Angeline and Artemis seemed to have calmed themselves down. They sat, side by side on the sofa and began to look more like the rulers of a successful trading empire and less like two teenagers. However, they both did have the look of people impatient to tell an important secret. Mrs. Fowl tapped her long, manicured nails against the side of the china tea cup and Mr. Fowl's foot twitched back and forth.

"Alright, let's hear it," Butler sighed.

The couple spoke simultaneously, "We're going to have a baby!"

Instantly Butler felt as though his chair had been pulled out from underneath him. His heart seemed to plunge into his stomach and his chest felt hollow without it. Artemis was going to be a big brother! His parents were going to have a baby while he was trying to save demons from another dimension! He fought the urge to gasp or react in any inappropriate way, but his face must have revealed his true feelings.

"Butler, what's wrong?"

He looked up, it was Angeline that spoke. She had put her tea cup on the coffee table and was leaning towards Butler. Butler took a deep breath and made himself sit straight and still.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Fowl. When is the baby due?"

"I'm 6 weeks in so that means he _or_ she'll be here in December."

"An early Christmas present," Artemis smiled and laughed softly at his joke.

"Yes, and what a wonderful gift it will be," Butler replied in a monotonous voice.

Angeline sighed, "Butler, did something happen to Artemis? Are you sure he can't come home sooner? I don't want him to miss any more school than he already has."

Butler's mind was whirling again and he made a quick decision. He refused to burst Artemis' parent's happy bubble. Besides, he was only saving them from a few days of pain if he waited. Perhaps it was for the best.

"Artemis was invited to a conference in Taiwan by a fellow physicist eager to hear some of his theories. It is a great honor that he should attend. Please do not worry. He'll be back as soon as he can. He told me he would."

*****

Author's Note (SPOILER! Just in Case): Hello everyone! Thank you for reading and reviewing my first FanFic so far! Just a note about the 'baby': Although it's not mentioned in TTP, I figured that Myles and Beckett were about 2 to 2.5 years of age at the start of the novel. Thus, if Angeline were 6 weeks pregnant as of Artemis' disappearance, then by the time he returned, approximately 3 years later the twins would be just about the right age. I know this chapter doesn't give you much of a shock if you've read TLC and TTP, but please try to understand Butler's point of view, because boy is he ever surprised!


	5. The Photograph

Trouble

Since the disappearance of former LEP Captain Holly Short and notorious teenage genius Artemis Fowl, the Lower Elements Police Headquarters had been just buzzing with activity. On the surface, it seemed as though the police were just going through their daily routines, but below the surface, outside of Commander Sool's accusing eyes, Holly's former co-workers were scrambling to find a way to get her and her companions back to Earth. The news that the demon's time spell was unraveling spread quickly through Police Central and into the public and now elves, sprites and fairy alike demanded news of the situation. Calls flooded the LEP switchboards, asking about the demons and looking for rumor confirmation. Foaly the centaur, another former LEP employee, had already been contacted and was now working with several skilled fairy mathematicians and physicists to calculate the date and time Artemis and Holly would return.

Unfortunately, the LEP's newest commander occasionally heard of these going's-on and often it was young Major Trouble Kelp that got to take the full brunt of Sool's anger. The major was known for being good friends with Holly and had often stood up for her during Internal Affairs investigations and council meetings, actions which now put him in Commander Sool's bad books.

It was mid-morning, Friday, and five days after Holly and Artemis' disappearance. Police Central was eerily quiet, the first slow day since the incident. Major Trouble sat at his desk, enclosed in his office and surrounded by small stacks of CD's and memory chips containing paper work. The only sounds came from the constant humming of his computer and the tapping of computer keys. To some, this scene may seem peaceful, but inside young Trouble's head, a furious thunderstorm was raging as he recalled the 'conversation' he had had with Commander Sool first thing this morning. Trouble probably should have become desensitized to these morning verbal lashings by now, and yet, every time they made him hate the Commander more and more…..

"_Whatever _Ms_. Short and that Mud Boy do is not police business! " Sool shouted, a sneer on his ugly face._

"_She's a resident of Haven Commander; it's our job to protect her!" Trouble pleaded._

"_She's a criminal, a murderer who conspires with humans," the gnome retorted, his words icy._

_Trouble stared in shock at his Commander, "When will you admit she didn't kill Root? The Council already said she was innocent!"_

"_Bah! What do they know? Besides, one council vote doesn't make up for all her_ other_ infractions."_

"_You weren't even her Commander when they happened! You just-"_

"_You are not a lawyer Kelp," the commander cut him off, "So stop defending a criminal."_

"_Commander Sool, I-"_

Trouble shook his head and refused to let himself dwell on the argument any longer.

Leaning back in his chair, Trouble gazed around his office. It was sparse, to say the least, with little or no decoration. His office was situated in the middle of a block of cubicles, so there wasn't even a window to let in some artificial sunlight or allow a view into the Haven's downtown core . On his desk, besides all of the regular office supplies and his computer, sat his Neutrino and a photograph inside a wooden frame. Trouble's wandering eyes were instantly drawn to it and he felt a mixture of sadness and nostalgia rising in his chest.

The photograph had been taken a few years ago, at the annual Police All Hallow's Eve Gala. Trouble remembered hailing Vinyaya to take a capture the memory after dinner was over and the dance had begun. The photograph showed Holly (then Captain Short), Trouble, Foaly, arms around each other, grinning stupidly and laughing. They were all dressed in their finest clothes, and even Foaly had shed his tin foil hat for the occasion. It was one of the few times Holly donned a dress, and Trouble remembered teasing her for having her recon suit on underneath the dress. Looking at the picture now, Trouble seemed to agree with Holly, the police uniform matched her personality more, even if she did look quite beautiful in the conservative green dress.

Besides Holly, his attention was drawn to a painfully obvious fact about the picture. It was lopsided and didn't quite fill the frame. Trouble knew this alteration was of his own doing, yet felt an incredible sadness as he remembered what was missing from the picture. With slow movements, Trouble took the picture from the frame and carefully unfolded the crease that had been made. Completing the picture, with his arms crossed, a reluctant smile on his red visage was the late Commander Root. Trouble remembered coaxing his boss to join them in the picture, but sadly, failed to recall the joke that had finally made the elf crack a smile once they had positioned him in front of Vinyaya.

With a sad smile, Trouble slipped the photograph back into the frame, Root visible. Suddenly, and more than ever, Trouble wished his commander alive again. Everything would be so different. Not only would Holly still be a recon officer, but even if she still had disappeared with Artemis, at least the search for her would be underway and not discouraged. His mind unwittingly flashed back to this morning's confrontation.

Holly would come back; he knew it, but when, and how was what he needed to know. If it was possible, Trouble wanted to ensure that his friend returned safely and hopefully, quickly. He knew that if after all his hard work, and after enduring all of Sool's anger, Holly did not survive, or was stuck in Hybras, his heart might burst. He had just started to recover from Julius' death, but Holly too? He wouldn't be able to handle it, being a recon officer for the LEP came with enough challenges already.

Taking one last glance around his office, Trouble sighed resignedly and opened the document he had been working on with a click of the computer mouse. As he stared at the screen and tried to focus on the Gnomish symbols, his mind drifted again to Holly. He imagined her mischievous grin and the sparkle she got in her hazel eyes when she had a plan, and suddenly, was inspired to do something very out of character.

Shutting down his computer, Trouble slipped his Neutrino into the holster at his waist and pushed his office chair under the desk neatly. His digital watch told him it was barely noon and he smiled. As Sool would say, he was, "Taking a page out of Ms. Short's book." He was sick and tired of always sitting back and taking Sool's insults and decided, with a grin very similar to Holly's, to take a vacation and make this weekend, a _very_ _long_ weekend.

****

Author's Note: Now, you may be wondering why such a big fan of the Holly/Artemis relationship would write a Fic supporting Trouble/Holly. Personally, the T/A relationship is one I am quite neutral about. I believe that yes, Trouble would have feelings for Holly that he might be unsure about and that this is something Mr. Colfer should definitely explore in later novels. However, concerning further chapters of this story, I have a question for all of you readers. I can't decide: should Trouble recognize Artemis' and Holly's growing relationship? Should he be jealous? Please review and tell me your opinions.


	6. Snow White

Minerva

_Butler noticed that Minerva was crying, "They're all dead aren't they? Because of me."_

"Minerva? _Mon ami? _Please come out darling and tell me what's wrong. You've been in there nearly 5 days. Please, let me help you._"_

From her place on the bay window seat, Minerva turned her gaze to the wooden door of her bedroom. The words were muffled, but she could easily tell it was her father begging her to come out. His pleading words made her chest hurt terribly and she yearned to leave her prison and run into his arms. However, her mind, her guilt, held her like a physical bond, like handcuffs or a straight jacket, and she could not move.

"Minerva! Don't make me break down this door! Please, tell me what happened!"

The twelve year old girl clutched the white night gown she was wearing and bit her lower lip, trying to keep from crying. She'd done too much of that lately.

"Sweet heart," Mr. Paradizo said, "Is it a boy?"

Minerva gasped as an invisible hand twisted her insides. Of course it was a boy, but not in the manner Mr. Paradizo expected.

After maintaining silence, Minerva heard her father's retreating foot steps through the door and sighed in relief. Since returning from her 'school trip' to Taiwan, Minerva had had to endure daily pleadings from her father and the manor's servants. They begged her to emerge, or to tell them 'what's wrong' but she had long since stopped answering back. They told her she was being unreasonable, but Minerva disagreed. In_ her_ state, she considered letting a maid in once a day to leave a plate of food and check (Minerva assumed) that she wasn't dead or injured, pretty generous.

Stretching, Minerva walked over to her bed and climbed on top of the messy pile of blankets and pillows. Her silver laptop sat atop a pillow in sleep mode. With a tap of a key, the screen lit up and Minerva pulled the device onto her lap.

Opening a live news feed, the girl immediately navigated to the Taiwan page and her eyes scanned the day's stories. Nothing. Just like yesterday and the day before, and the day before. Nothing since that odd little column written by a local Taiwanese doctor, warning about the dangers of breathing in smog and the effects on the brain (in direct result to a complaint made by a woman, claiming to have see four 'children' fall from the sky and into a spinning purple hole). Not that Minerva expected the return of the boy genius and his demon friends to be widely publicized, just hoped that maybe some observant little old woman would write in saying that she'd seen four children _appear_ from the sky.

Finished with the news, Minerva opened a file and stared at the screen. The file was short and concise, written that morning. It was a list, a list of people Minerva had decided needed apologizing to. There was Artemis (her heart clenched at the name), Mr. and Mrs. Fowl, Artemis' bodyguard Butler, Beau, her father, Juan Soto and the list went on. She doubted she'd ever actually deliver these apologies personally, but the list had been cleansing to write.

A loud knock on her door made Minerva look up.

"Dinner, Miss Minerva," came the call from outside.

Sighing, Minerva rolled off of her expansive bed and padded to the door. The first couple of times the maid had arrived with food, Mr. Paradizo had tried to force his way into his daughter's bedroom, but when the girl refused to eat brought on such occasions, he deserted his attempts.

Minerva unlocked the door a sliver and peeked out. The maid, Alice, stood holding a platter and smiling kindly. Her father was no where to be seen and Minerva opened the door enough to take the food inside. She brought the meal to the desk and sat down, staring at the food. She wasn't hungry, as usual, but ate for her father's sake.

After finishing the meal, and slipping the empty dishes outside on the hall floor to be picked up, Minerva returned to her computer. The list of names was still open on her screen and with a sad smile, she closed it. The list was the only file on the computer, which had been wiped during the raid on the manor by a certain 'interfering techno-demon'.

'Quite unnecessary,' Minerva thought with a scowl, "As if I would continue my work after all that has happened.'

It was true. Since returning home to France, Minerva had had no urge to continue her Nobel Prize project. Not only did she not have a demon specimen anymore, but the calculations telling the next materialization were getting even more and more unpredictable nowadays. The Irish boy had said that the time tunnel was unraveling and Minerva understood enough about physics and magic to know that that meant trouble. Besides, the whole assignment made her feel horrible inside now. She still was amazed at her own genius, and still saw merit in the project, but maybe not by her, and not just yet.

Yawning, Minerva closed her computer and stored it on her desk. Wandering over to her bookshelf she scanned the titles. The bookshelf was a great deal smaller than those in the manor library and in the short time Minerva had been hidden in her room; she had already devoured most of the novels. The few left were books that she hadn't touched since childhood and that she had deemed unsuitable to be read by a twelve year old with such a high I.Q. Tonight though, perhaps out of desperation, or nostalgia, Minerva selected a single volume, not opened since the girl was just old enough to read – two and a half years, just in case you were wondering. She lost to Mr. Fowl by just months, when you calculate in the age difference, and has never forgotten it - The book was Snow White, written by the Brothers Grimm, and she remembered it being one of her favourite stories. She smiled as she held the book and climbed under her bed covers.

Minutes later, Minerva found herself laughing softly. She had just read the author's description of the beautiful young Snow White, with her pale skin, hair 'black as ebony' and red lips and couldn't help but think of Artemis Fowl II. With a little lip stick, the raven-haired boy would perfectly fit the role, especially when followed around by all those short demons (or dwarfs rather). Picturing it further, Minerva began to laugh again. Her mirth filled the quite manor for several minutes before peaking and then descending into a quiet sobbing of grief.

Moments later, as it had so many times this week, Minerva's father's voice called through the door.

"Minerva? Honey, are you okay? Please let me in, I heard you yelling."

Closing the book in front of her, Minerva walked over to the door and stood, hand hovering over the cut crystal doorknob.

"Please Minerva; I can't help you if you won't let me in."

Let him in. Minerva thought about the metaphor. Opening the door would be admitting she needed help_ and_ accepting it. It would be letting her father into her heart.

Taking a deep breath, Minerva unlocked the door and twisted the knob. This time, Mr. Paradizo didn't try to force his way in, and waited until his daughter had opened the door fully before asking,

"May I come in?"

Minerva smiled at her father and gestured inside with her hand, "I think that's implied, yes."

Minerva knew as she sat down on the giant bed, her father's arms around her, that she couldn't tell him everything. She had already hurt too many people and betraying the demons and Master Fowl's secrets wouldn't help anything. She would have to make something up, but at least, it was better than making her father worry. She promised herself not to hurt him anymore.

'Maybe,' she thought, 'I'll start working on my list right now.'


	7. Second Chance

Angeline and Artemis I

"_Maybe time stood still for you, big brother, but it didn't for the rest of us." _

"Good morning Mrs. Fowl."

Looking up from her novel, Angeline Fowl saw her son's bodyguard standing at the parlor door with a steaming cup of tea balanced on a tray in his giant hand. It was early in the morning, but the man was already dressed in a freshly ironed, button-down shirt, slacks and shoes that were so polished they gleamed.

"Thank you Butler, please set the tray over here," Angeline said softly, unable to keep the surprise out of her tone. She watched carefully as he shuffled (How unlike him, she thought) to the coffee table and placed the tray, trying to gauge his emotions.

"No cream and sugar?" She asked with a smile.

Butler's smile in return was weak, "Already added Ma'am, just the way you like it."

Angeline placed the book she had been reading on the coffee table and reached for the cup, "We're not as 'poor' as we used to be Butler. We have maids to fetch tea." It wasn't an insult, she was curious.

Butler coughed nervously then said, "They don't know how you like your tea made Ma'am. They haven't been here as long as I have."

"I'm sure they could figure it out eventually," Angeline commented quietly, then, "Please sit down Butler."

"Are you sure Ma'am? Is there anything else you'd like?"

"Dear Butler you have done more than enough. Now, please sit and tell me what's bothering you so much," Angeline gestured to the seat across from her, normally Arty's.

Butler sat down with some difficulty in the fancy, too small armchair. Angeline could tell he felt out of place. This room was normally only used for when important guests visited, but Angeline had retreated here looking for some peace and quiet.

"There's nothing wrong Ma'am. Please don't worry about me," Butler said.

"I will stop worrying if you stop lying to me. Ever since Arty left for that trip in Taiwan, you've been acting strange. You're concerned about him aren't you?"

Butler looked straight into Angeline's eyes so she knew he wasn't lying, "No Ma'am, I've left him in very capable hands. He'll be perfectly fine."

"Then _why_ are you acting so differently?"

"Differently, Ma'am?"

"Don't play dumb. For the past two weeks you've been moping around the house, holing yourself up in the gym for hours on end or else doting on Mr. Fowl and I as though we were your principles and not Arty. Why, look at this," she waved a hand towards the silver tray and the cup in her hand, "Serving me tea without being asked to?"

Butler shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "I'm just worried about the baby Mrs. Fowl."

"The baby?" Angeline laughed, "Is that what it is now? You've become a terrible liar. Madam Ko would be ashamed."

Butler's face contorted at the insult but he didn't move from his chair.

Angeline sighed, "I'm sorry Butler that was mean of me to say. Please just tell me what's wrong. I know you're not worried about the baby, because I'm the mother and I'm not. I've got the best team of doctors in Europe on call every minute of the day, able to be here in minutes if I feel even the slightest pain."

"Mrs. Fowl," Butler said, his voice strained, "I doubt you'll believe me if I tell you."

Angeline's smile was warm, "Not long ago my husband was found outside a Helsinki hospital after having drowned two years before in the Bay of Kola. I think I can follow along well enough Butler."

The bodyguard's eyes were wide and he leaned towards Angeline, almost pleading, "Ma'am, if there was any way you would just believe that Artemis was in Taiwan and safe and-"

"But he's not!" Angeline cried and stood up, knocking the empty tea cup on to the carpet, "Butler, this is my son we're talking about. I demand you tell me where he is and what's been going on! Please…" She sat down again, suddenly weak, "Please tell me, for Arty's sake."

Butler's jaw clenched and unclenched and Angeline watched as he took deep breaths in through his nose, like he did when he was meditating, "Do you wish me to tell Mr. Fowl too?"

"Tell me now and I will decide that later. There is no need to worry him unnecessarily."

"Yes Ma'am," Butler nodded and then said, "Well, it all began when Artemis was 12 years old......."

****

"Angeline, are you ready to go?" Artemis the First called from the bottom of the stairs.

Angeline checked her make-up over once more in the bathroom mirror before calling, "Yes, I'll be right down!"

Picking up her purse and jacket, Angeline walked quickly out into hall and to the stairs. She was only three steps down when Artemis ran to meet her, grabbing her by the elbow and waist.

"You really shouldn't be running downstairs Angeline, you know that," he scolded.

Angeline sighed, "I wasn't running and besides, I'm not even in heels today," she stuck out her foot, showing a swollen appendage fit into a clog, "See? I'm being a good mommy."

Never the less, Artemis led his wife down the rest of the stairs and out the door. A driver was waiting for them beside the Bentley.

Minutes later the car was zooming along the freeway, headed to Dublin. Angeline and Artemis sat in the back seat beside each other, holding hands. Artemis was looking out the window at the Irish countryside while Angeline was watching her husband.

Two days ago, Arty's bodyguard had told her a horrible secret, a secret she had barely processed since. It was as unbelievable as anything she had heard in her entire life, including every fairy tale and fiction novel. An underground city with elves and dwarves? Arty kidnapping a fairy police officer for ransom and then saving her husband from the Mafia in Russia? Time travelling to another dimension to save a bunch of demons? It couldn't be true.

Artemis must have felt her cringe and turned to look at her, the perpetual worry knitting his brows. Angeline shook her head and squeezed Artemis' hand with a forced smile. He smiled in return and went back to looking out the window.

Deep down Angeline knew she would have to tell her husband the truth. Trips to Taiwan to visit physicists could only last so long, especially without a call home. She would probably worry him more if she didn't tell him.

"We've arrived Mr. and Mrs. Fowl," the driver said from the front seat, parking the Bentley smoothly.

Angeline and Artemis stepped out of the car and looked up at the clinic. Today was Angeline's first ultrasound.

'I can't tell him today,' Angeline thought, 'Not yet. He has enough to worry about.'

****

Artemis Fowl the First was overjoyed. His hands shook as he held the ultrasound photographs. Two tiny bodies were clearly visible amongst the dark mass that was his wife's womb. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes. Twins.

The photographs had been held and caressed so many times they looked much older than they were, yet Artemis still held them. He didn't care if they ripped. They could get another copy, and besides, soon enough, he'd be holding the real thing.

At first, Artemis had been completely shocked to find out that his wife was pregnant. Not that he suspected her to be unfaithful -he _vividly_ remembered that first month after he had come home from the hospital- just that he and his wife had been able to conceive again, at both their ages. Artemis II was almost 15 now; there would be quite an age gap.

Artemis I hardly remembered his first son's birth. It's not that he was too old now to recall it, just that he hadn't been present at all. He remembered staying with Angeline through the beginnings of labor, then –he recoiled at the thought now- had left for an impromptu business meeting halfway through. When he returned, Artemis II had been born and he was officially a parent.

'This one is going to be different though,' Artemis promised to himself, his eyes fierce as he clutched the photograph, 'Everything I've missed, everything Arty's missed, it'll be our second chance.'

"Are you going to let anyone else see those pictures?" Angeline's laugh pierced Artemis' thoughts as she walked into the dining room.

"I'm sorry Angeline. They're just so beautiful. I don't know if I've ever seen a piece of art this lovely in all my years, " Artemis said softly, his fingers tracing the shape of the twin's backs.

"You've really changed Timmy," she said and sat down beside him, "You were never like this when I was pregnant with Arty."

"I know."

"I'm glad you're different now. It's going to be healthier for us as a family."

"Yes, family," Artemis said, the word still seeming foreign to his tongue.

Angeline was silent for a few moments then said, "Timmy, there's something I have to tell you, and please promise you won't overreact or start worrying-"

"Just by you saying that you make me nervous. What is it dearest?"

Angeline twisted her hands in front of her and stared at her wedding ring, "Butler told me where Arty is. He says it's the truth but I don't know. I'm worried about him. Butler, I mean. The whole story just sounds…insane."

Artemis turned in his chair and took his wife's face in his hands, "Please tell me Angeline."

And so she did.

****

Author's Note: Sorry for the late update everyone. I'm sure anyone who attends school around this time of year understands the extreme pain in the backside that is exams. Anyways, thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. The positive feedbacks is really helpful and as always, feel free to critique or suggest things you might want to see in future chapters. See you next time and happy reading!


	8. The Little Flower That Could

Butler

'_Window boxes? Who would have thought.' _

Sitting out in the Fowl's expansive flower garden, Butler tried to relax, something he never had been able to do before. He lied on a reclining patio chair and let the May sun warm his bare arms and face, breathed deeply, and stared up at the blue sky through sunglasses. He forced himself to stay still and admire the clouds and the various adorable shapes they made, but he was restless. Looking at the sky made him think of Artemis, and that only made him more agitated and frustrated.

One month ago exactly, Artemis had disappeared into the smog ridden Taipei sky along with Captain Holly Short and two gargoyle-like demons. If this wasn't bad enough, their _goal_ had been to land on a timeless island overrun with human-hating demons. Butler still cringed at the thought.

Two weeks ago, Butler had finally admitted Artemis' true whereabouts to his worried parents, Artemis Senior and Angeline. They didn't take the news very well, however, considering the circumstances, things could have gone a lot worse. In fact, Artemis I and Angeline had been surprisingly calm for parents who just learned that their 14 year old son had been in cahoots with an underground race of fairies for the last 3 years. Not that they had believed the story, of course, but calm nonetheless.

Butler sat up and exhaled loudly. Nowadays, his own thoughts and worries were his worst enemies and he often repressed them. How could he ever expect to live a normal life if he was still stuck in the past?

'I couldn't,' Butler thought sadly, 'This…uncertainty, it's almost worse than knowing Artemis is dead. A giant 'what if'.'

Butler shook his head angrily, trying to dispel the thoughts. He knew he had better self-control than this.

Swinging his legs off the patio chair, Butler observed the garden around him. Local flowers of every size and colour filled the flower beds while giant orchids and tropical fruits grew in the temperature controlled greenhouses. Honeybees laden with pollen flew from bloom to bloom, filling the air with a pleasant buzzing sound and hummingbirds flew through the flowering trees, sipping nectar. It was a lovely place to spend an early summer afternoon. Except for… Butler's sharp eyes locked on a tiny patch of weed, marring the perfect picture. Well, he'd just have to fix that.

Vacating the chair, Butler lumbered over to the garden shed and selected a spade before turning back to the flowers. Kneeling down beside the flower bed, Butler winced as his joints cracked loudly. He loathed getting older. Wielding the spade, Butler quickly uprooted the weeds and regarded his work. Nice, except….those tulips did look a little wilted. Well, he'd just have to fix that.

Back at the garden shed, Butler hung up his spade and grabbed a watering can, filling it to the brim. Yes, this is just what the lovely little flowers needed.

As he was watering the flowers, Butler spotted a particular bloom, poking up through a cluster of petunias. It was small, with five triangular petals streaked with dark purple and a stalk and leaves that were a soft grey-green. A smile crept onto Butler's face as he remembered the tiny flower's origin. Last spring, the Fowl's had gone on a picnic at the coast, near the village of Duncade. It was one of Mr. Fowl's first outings since his release from hospital. After eating lunch, Artemis had quickly become bored with his surroundings and had wandered down the coastline, Butler in tow. For a picnic, the day had been fairly cool, and Butler remembered worrying about Artemis catching a cold down by the sea.

After a while, Artemis stopped walking and bent down to look at something among the grey rocks.

"Butler," he called, "Come see this flower."

Butler hurried over to the boy, careful not to turn an ankle on the smooth rocks. Finally, he saw it, the tiny bloom with five triangular petals. The ground around the flower was practically mud and the petals were heavy with water droplets. It was amazing that such a thing could survive.

"It's quite unique," Artemis noted, "I can't identify it. I may be the first to classify it."

Butler nodded and watched as Artemis dug up the tiny bloom, bulb and all.

"I must bring it back to the manor. We may be able to grow it in the garden. My friends at the botanical society will be pleased to hear about this discovery."

Shortly after, it was confirmed; Artemis had found a new species of flower. Needless to say, the teenager was quite pleased with himself, though this was not the first time such a discovery had occurred.

Butler had doubted that the tiny flower would take root in the Fowl garden, so far from the sea, but there it was. This little plant had endurance. He couldn't remember what the scientific name was, but had taken to calling it simply 'Artemis' Flower'.

Finished watering, Butler stood back from the garden. Everything looked nicely soaked, but then again…those trees could do with some pruning.

Visiting the garden shed for the third time, Butler retrieved a pair of shears. He'd stop after this, he promised himself. Just a little more.

"Mr. Butler."

Butler froze in his tracks. He felt like a child who had been caught stealing sweets from the kitchen. Slowly he turned to see the Fowl's gardener, Gregory.

"Lending a helping hand Mr. Butler?" Gregory chuckled. "Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I'm feeling fine Gregory, no need to rest," Butler said, slightly affronted. It sounded like Gregory had been speaking to Mrs. Fowl.

"I admit I appreciate the help Butler, but let's try to stick with the jobs we were hired for," Gregory sneered.

Butler refrained from hitting the man and dropped the shears onto the patio chair. Trying not to show too much emotion on his face, Butler stepped past the man and inside the wide French doors. Ever since the Fowl's finances had stabilized, the family had rehired many of the maids and servants they had given up years ago. Butler had filled many of those empty positions and he still wasn't used to the change.

Thinking on the man's words, Butler realized his problem. Butler had been hired to protect Artemis, and if the boy wasn't living at the Manor anymore, what use was there for him?

****

"Ah, Butler, please come in."

Butler stepped into Artemis Senior's office and sat down across from the business tycoon. Artemis was relaxing at his desk, a newspaper spread before him and a cup of tea in hand. It was after lunch and Angeline was taking a nap, so Artemis had retreated to his office for some quiet time alone. Unfortunately, Butler had other ideas.

"Sir, I need to tell you something."

"Of course Butler, please do," Artemis smiled kindly over his tea cup. Ever since Angeline had relayed the truth about Artemis Junior onto his father, Artemis Senior had treated Butler like a child.

"I'd like to move out of the manor, sir. Until Artemis returns-" Artemis Senior's eyes became suddenly very sad and pained but Butler continued on strongly, "I have no place in your home. Your family is wealthy enough to cover my old position and more. Please accept my resignation as of today."

Artemis considered Butler for a few moments, as though trying to decide if this decision was brought on by his 'madness' or not. Finally, he said, "If that is what you wish Butler, I won't stop you. You deserve a vacation for once and money-wise, I'm sure we can help you-"

"No," Butler interrupted, "Thank you for the offer Mr. Fowl, but I have to say no. I've got enough to survive without other's charity."

Artemis frowned, "Charity? Butler, you are a close family friend, it wouldn't be-"

Butler stood up quickly, knowing he had said too much, "I'll go pack my things and be out by sunset, sir."

"Butler? Wait! I wasn't trying to-"Artemis said but Butler closed the office door before he could hear the rest.

****

It was sunset, and the sky over Fowl manor was ablaze with colour. In the main hall, Butler shook hands with Mr. and Mrs. Fowl and told them goodbye. His belongings only filled two suitcases, but he knew he wouldn't miss his other possessions. He doubted he'd have another gym to practice martial arts in, or need for more than five of his guns in the future.

"Thank you for all of your help Butler," Mrs. Fowl said, tears in her eyes.

"No problem Mrs. Fowl. Artemis and I had some interesting adventures together."

Angeline sniffed a few times, and then said bravely, "If what you said is true, then you've saved Artemis' life more times than I can count. We'll never be able to thank you enough."

Butler smiled, "Don't worry, Artemis has done his share of life saving as well. He deserves some credit." He raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at Artemis Senior's mechanical leg. The other man nodded and smiled reluctantly.

"If Artemis does return from-"he swallowed, "-from Hybras, you will send him back home promptly?"

"Of course Mr. Fowl, and please don't worry. He'll be home sooner than you think."

As expected, the sad, worried look returned to Mr. and Mrs. Fowl's faces and Butler was politely rushed out the door and into the awaiting taxi. Butler guessed he must have sounded insane again.

"Where to, Mac?" the taxi driver asked Butler.

Before his location could occur to him, Butler had a sudden thought, "Wait just a second. I'll be back."

With Mr. and Mrs. Fowl's eyes following him from the front doors, Butler jogged around to the back of the manor. In the twilight, the garden was just as beautiful as in the day. Bats flitted over the hedges and spring frogs croaked from underneath the flowers.

Butler's eyes found the tiny flower once again, standing out against the dark coloured petunias. Quickly he grabbed his spade from earlier and dug up the flower, hoping that Gregory had gone home for the day and was not watching. Finding a tiny clay pot, Butler placed the bulb inside and filled the pot with rich brown earth.

Butler jogged back to the taxi, flower pot in hand. He ignored the strange and worried looks from the Fowls and got back inside the taxi. He knew just where to go now.

"Village of Duncade, please."

Butler smiled warmly as the taxi drove down towards the manor gates. Butler wasn't a religious man, or one to believe in things not seen, but he knew that encountering the tiny flower was not coincidence. For years perhaps, the tiny bloom had endured along Duncade's wet coast, and now Butler would to. If the flower could wait until Artemis found it, Butler could wait until his young charge found _him_ again. Not matter how long it took, he would endure.

****

A/N: The idea for this was inspired by book 4 in the Percy Jackson series (ie; the moonlace flower from Calypso's island). I was going to write this chapter about Foaly, but I just couldn't leave Butler's story unfinished for now. I hope this makes sense and that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much to all of my readers and reviewers so far!


	9. Foaly and Frost

Foaly

_Beep, beep, beep!_

"Good morning sunshine! Time to wake up and go to work! There are things to do, fairies to see and civilizations to save! All of Haven is counting on you Mr. Foaly! Time to make the big bucks and-"

Foaly slammed a hairy palm on his alarm clock and groaned. Sometimes he _really_ regretted programming that alarm clock with his own voice.

'Inspirational messages,' Foaly thought, 'yeah right.'

Foaly stretched and rolled off his bed and nearly crashed into a set of dismantled Koboi Dragonfly wings. Despite his opulent salary, his apartment was tiny, and packed from wall to wall with electronics. Shortly after moving in, he had converted the den into a workshop, although eventually his many projects overflowed into the bedroom and kitchen. Besides the various electronics and screens, the walls were plastered with Foaly's many prestigious awards, dating back to his first, a gold medal from the Haven Central Elementary School Science Fair. Glancing at the gold-colored plastic medallion, Foaly smiled. His design for the early Neutrino 1000 had left all of the other kid's baking soda and vinegar volcanoes in the dust.

After a quick shower, Foaly grabbed his white lab coat off a hook and shrugged it on. Then, carefully wading through the mess, he entered the kitchen. Foaly didn't often eat at home, so the cupboards were pretty sparse except for a few cans of carrot soup. Fortunately, Caballine had insisted Foaly go grocery shopping yesterday, and on the counter sat a half dozen carrot muffins from the bakery, begging to be eaten. Foaly opened the plastic package and inhaled the first muffin. It was delicious.

Seeing one of the various digital clocks that adorned his apartment, Foaly quickly grabbed the rest of his breakfast and his cell phone before rushing out the door. Lately, Sool had been getting touchier about his employees being late for work. Normally, Foaly would have disregarded the commander's wish but unfortunately unlike Root, Sool didn't think Foaly so irreplaceable.

On his way to work, Foaly checked the messages on his phone. The tiny device could do more than most top-of-the-line Mud Man computers and allowed Foaly to send e-mails, play online Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble and virtual Crunch Ball, remotely control/hack any computers in the Haven, access any satellite radio station, work on his Time-Tunnel calculations, and receive daily horoscopes and dating tips, among other things. Today though, he was just reading a simple text message, practically an insult to fairy technology. Never the less, the centaur's face lit up when he saw the message.

_Hey Sweetie,_

_I had a great time last night. Do you think you can get the weekend off? I made reservations at this great spa in the Caribbean, just in case. _ _Tell Sool you deserve the break._

_Love, Callabine. XOXOXO_

The gesture was sweet, and Foaly yearned to go, but he knew he'd never get the time off. Lately he had been working over-time nearly every night, balancing his normal LEP duties with the secret Holly rescue efforts. Although it was a lot of work, Foaly was grateful for the scientist's and the LEP member's commitment to bringing Holly and Artemis home safely, even after nearly a half year of failure. He just wished Callabine would understand.

Traffic was heavy that morning and Foaly rushed to catch a ride on the city's only train, an electromagnetic monorail. The system only had one route and one train, and could be slightly inconvenient, but it was still the most popular mode of transportation in the underground city.

As Foaly stepped on to the train, he swore he saw several business sprites groan with annoyance. Everyone in the car shuffled to accommodate the centaur and Foaly bristled. It wasn't his fault he was twice as large as the average fairy.

'They should feel honored,' Foaly thought, 'seeing a centaur out in public like this. Most of us won't leave our houses for fear of having our brainwaves stolen or horns sawed off by merchant dwarves.'

When the train stopped outside the LEP Central Plaza, there was a collective sigh from the train car. Obviously, they had recognized the centaur as the LEP's technical genius, and instantly parted to allow Foaly to exit the car along with several other fairies.

Checking the time on his cell phone, Foaly cantered to the Ops Booth, eyes peeled for Commander Ark Sool. Unlike Root, a cloud of noxious cigar fumes didn't precede Sool's presence, and with his short gnome stature, the Commander was often able to sneak up on Foaly.

Luckily, Foaly was able to skirt by Sool's office without hearing his name barked and slipped into the Ops Booth with a sigh of relief. It was almost embarrassing, how much he disliked, and feared, Ark Sool. Sure Root and Foaly had had their disagreements, but deep down, there hadn't been a better team in the entire LEP force.

The Ops Booth was humming with activity, warming up for another day of work. On the train, Foaly had remotely activated all the computers via his cell phone, a time-saving habit. Extra long shifts had made Foaly even more efficient.

It was nearly noon by the time Foaly got a visitor. As soon as he heard the knock on the door, Foaly opened up the security camera feed on his computer. Sool never knocked, so who could it be?

On the screen was a tiny elf, dressed in civilian clothes. She had the typical elf features, chestnut colored skin, red hair and an upturned nose, but also had unusually dark blue eyes, just like Artemis Fowl II. Her name was Dr. Frost and she was one of the scientists working secretly with Foaly on the Time-Tunnel calculations. Besides the eyes, she reminded Foaly of the Irish teenager in many ways. Working with the centaur could cost her the esteemed job she had worked so hard to achieve, and just like the Mud Boy, she was taking a huge risk, just to help her friends. From the first time Foaly had met her, he had trusted her explicitly.

Using the computer mouse to control the angle of the camera, Foaly swept the hallway on either side of Dr. Frost. There was no sign of Sool, or any of his lackies and with a push of a button, the pneumatic doors slid open silently and Dr. Frost stepped in.

"Good morning Mr. Foaly," she said formally once the doors had closed behind her.

"Did anyone see you come in here?" Foaly asked, not unkindly.

"I don't believe so. May I sit down?"

"Of course," Foaly gestured to only other fairy sized chair in the room and Dr. Frost sat down. Her brow was furrowed with consternation, "Any progress?" Foaly asked.

"Not much. Since last we spoke, all we've been able to discern is that the time spell was built in a repeating pattern."

Foaly nodded. Spells were often based on a repeating chant or mantra in the ancient language, and besides, the spell _was_ funnel shaped.

"Once we translated the first line of the spell, we've been looking for a variation in the words or meaning in all the other lines, but haven't been able to find any differences. The spell seems to stay the same for infinity," Dr. Frost continued, her blue eyes boring into Foaly's golden brown ones.

Foaly frowned, "But the spell can't last forever, or else we wouldn't be having this problem in the first place," he paused, and then said, "Have you cross referenced the planetary charts with the deterioration graphs I gave you?"

Frost nodded, "It seems Fowl was correct. As the millennium ended, the time tunnel began to break down faster. Maybe the warlocks hadn't planned to stay in Limbo that long."

'Of course Fowl was right,' Foaly thought sadly, 'If he were here, Holly would have been back months ago.' Out loud he said,

"Perhaps more research on the warlock's original intentions would help. They might have known the tunnel would break down during the 21st century."

"Of course, Mr. Foaly. I'm sure we'll be able to find something. The moment is well recorded, for being so long ago," Dr. Frost hopped down from the chair and straightened her blouse and trousers. The doctor always wore civilian clothes to visit Foaly, so as to not raise suspicions.

Foaly stood up too and shook the tiny elf's hand, "Once again Dr. Frost, thank you for your commitment to finding Holly and Artemis, you've been a valuable asset-"

Foaly stopped abruptly, seeing the shocked expression on Dr. Frost's face. She was looking towards the door, her dark blue eyes wide in surprise. Foaly turned his head slowly, knowing well what was awaiting him in the doorway.

Commander Ark Sool stood between the metal doors, his fists clenched and steam (figuratively) coming out of his ears. His beady eyes darted between the centaur and the elf, finally focusing on the joined hands between them.

Foaly instantly dropped his hand and tried to act casual. He didn't know how long Sool had been listening and chided himself for not paying closer attention to the security cameras. Perhaps the truculent gnome would just assume that the doctor was a friend of his, or as her clothes suggested, a regular civilian. However, as it would seem, today was not Foaly's lucky day.

"Thank you for coming in Miss…Clearwater, but I'm afraid my work forbids me from doing commissions for civilians. I suggest you go to your local electronics dealer to…er, 'jail-break' your hand held computer," he fabricated quickly.

Dr. Frost smiled nervously and nodded, turning to leave the booth. Unfortunately, Sool stood in her way and grabbed her arm, forcefully spinning her back into the room.

"Don't mess with me Foaly. I know who Dr. Frost is. What I don't know, is why she is in the Ops Booth during your shift?"

'What you don't know could fill several encyclopedias,' Foaly thought angrily, biting his lip. This wasn't the first time Sool had caught Foaly working with Dr. Frost or another scientist, but this time, Foaly knew it might cost him his job.

"Well centaur?" Sool repeated. Dr. Frost backed away from the gnome, eyes darting around the room. Foaly suddenly felt a rush of sympathy for the young elf. This meeting could mean the end of her career too. Foaly stepped forward, head held high. He wouldn't surrender his dignity to the gnome.

"Dr. Frost and I were working on the Time-Tunnel calculations, Commander. Captain Holly Short is one of the LEP's best officers and we feel that it is in the LEP's best interests if-"

Sool cut Foaly off, "Miss Short was nothing but a waste of tax-dollars and you know it centaur. How many times do I have to tell you? Give up and go back to work while you still have a job."

Dr. Frost spoke up, her voice squeaky, "Please Mr. Sool, leave Mr. Foaly alone. He just wants his friend back-"

Foaly shot a pleading look at Dr. Frost. Sool didn't like the idea of Holly being friends with anyone.

"Your friend? Are you sure you want to admit that Mr. Foaly?" Sool spoke as though Dr. Frost wasn't there.

Foaly neighed angrily and stomped his hoof, "I won't deny it Commander."

This sent Sool over the edge. The gnome crossed his stubby arms over his broad chest and growled, "Then you, centaur, can say goodbye to your cushy job. I won't have my employees fraternizing with criminals. You're fired."

"Please Mr. Sool, Foaly wasn't…he didn't-" Dr. Frost stuttered, trying to grab Sool by the shoulder but Foaly was quicker, pulling the elf back against his side. She resembled Artemis, but also Holly at the same time, standing up for Foaly like that.

"It's okay Viola," he comforted the elf, "I've been meaning to quit for some time anyway."

Turning his back on the elf and centaur, Commander Sool stomped out of the office, angered by Foaly's aloof demeanor.

As soon as the door closed, Dr. Frost collapsed into the chair and held her head in her hands, "I'm so sorry Mr. Foaly. This is all my fault."

Foaly sighed and turned to his desk. Slowly, he began picking up his possessions and placing them in a storage container. He wondered who would replace him. Probably someone from Koboi labs.

"Don't say that Viola. I instructed you to come here to bring progress reports every week. Besides, now that I don't have to worry about Sool, we won't have to work in secret anymore."

He tried to sound as positive as possible, but inside Foaly felt like crying. The LEP, the Ops Booth, this job had been his entire life. What would he do now, and even worse, what would Caballine think?

'Oh well,' Foaly thought dejectedly, 'At least we can go on that vacation to the Caribbean now.'

****

A/N: Sorry for the slightly depressing (and late) chapter. Never fear though, things are going to get a whole lot better next chapter, when a certain memo is delivered to Major Trouble.


	10. School's Out

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or any related characters.

Trouble

"_Do you realize that traitor wanted to let the entire Eighth Family to die off? The moron actually said as much in a memo."_

Major Trouble Kelp gripped the shuttle controls, his knuckles white. He was a good pilot, no one doubted that, but never had young Holly Short's cockiness. Like any _normal_ fairy, he still got nervous whilst piloting the small, sleek metal tear drop thousands of feet down into the bowels of the earth with little to stop him from dashing himself on the unforgiving rock walls.

Trouble deployed the docking clamps and powered down the thrusters as he approached the landing pad. He had just returned from a mission in France and was exhausted. A couple gnomes with an affinity for sweets had mesmerized a child at Disneyland Paris into giving them his ice cream treat. Trouble shook his head. Oh yes, these were the days he dreamed about in the Police Academy. He had _really_ earned those silver acorns today.

As the pod settled onto the landing pad, Trouble slapped his chest to release the safety harness. He was utterly exhausted and looking forward to going home for the day. The shuttle clearance had been slow in coming through and Trouble had had to wait in the E37 terminal for hours. Besides the shuttle, Trouble had had a hell of a time catching the escaped gnomes once in Paris. Communications were off because of a magma flare (Trouble assumed) and for the entire mission he hadn't been able to contact Foaly for help. Trouble knew he shouldn't be relying on the centaur so much, but it was comforting to have the technical genius walking him through the mission sometimes, and besides, Foaly was his friend.

Trouble hung the shuttle's keys at the docking station and walked slowly back to the LEP Central Plaza. It felt like his bones were made of liquid and boots of lead and he shuffled to his office. On the way, he heard his name called by several other officers, but their voices sounded slow and drawn out, like they were all underwater.

Trouble entered his office and instantly slumped into his chair. He tapped a key on his computer's keyboard and the screen came back to life. Trouble looked at the tiny digital clock in the screen's corner and was dismayed to see it was only 4am. He still had two hours left on his shift. The mission from yesterday had spanned two shifts and although Trouble was tired, he knew Sool would never let him take the rest of the day off. Back during Sool's first few months, Trouble might have been tempted to skip work, but his boss' short fuse was no more than a stub lately and although it was draining sometimes, Trouble genuinely like his job.

****

_One Hour Later_

"_Hem, hem_."

Trouble was awoken by the sound of someone clearing their throat. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the elf before him. He had fallen asleep with his head on the computer keyboard and the document on the screen was now filled with strings of Gnommish gibberish.

"Important memo from Commander Ark Sool!" announced the messenger elf proudly.

Trouble rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and took the memo. The elf waited beside his desk, seeing if Trouble would read the memo or not. Trouble was willing to bet his day's salary Sool had demanded the messengers to make sure the recipients read the memo instead of tossing them in the recycling bin like they usually did and Major Kelp gave the elf a venomous glare for his trouble, sending him running.

Looking at the memo, Trouble's brows began to knit and his mouth opened in shock.

_From the desk of Commander Ark Sool_

_Effective Immediately:_

_All efforts to rescue the Eighth Family (and related civilians) are to be halted immediately. Also, all meetings between LEP employees and rescue coordinators are now considered illegal under Bylaw 822.A and will result in the employee's termination. The Eighth Family chose to abandon us in our time of need and now we will return the favor. _

_Also, I am happy to announce that the Lower Elements Police has a new technical adviser. Please send your warmest wishes to Barrie Speargrass, who joins us from Koboi Labs. _

It took Trouble several moments and even more readings to fully grasp the memo's meaning. Suddenly he was fully awake and furious. Sool wanted the entire Eighth family to just…die off? Foaly was being replaced? What was going on?

Trouble stood up from his desk and strode to the door, poking his head out in the hallway. Apparently, the other officers had the same idea, as Trouble saw several of his friends' floating heads peering around with shocked and confused looks on their faces. Nobody seemed to know what to say and just gawked at each other like figures from 'The Scream' by Edvard Munch. After a moment or two, one of the junior officers, a female pixie whispered,

"Major Kelp? Is it true? Did they really fire Foaly?"

Trouble didn't say anything, but stepped out of his office and walked purposely down the hall. He was going to answer the question for himself.

****

Trouble rapped loudly on Foaly's apartment door and rang the bell several times. From inside he could hear two voices and after a minute, Caballine opened the door.

"Major Kelp! How nice to see you, please come in. Foaly's just in the kitchen," the female centaur greeted and Trouble stepped inside. The apartment was incredibly messy and Trouble was surprised. Foaly was usually such a neat person.

Inside the kitchen, Trouble found Foaly sitting at the table with his head in his hands. The centaur looked horrible. Dark rings surrounded his eyes and his tin foil hat was crumpled beyond recognition between his horns. Caballine clip-clopped back over to the tiny stove and pulled out a dozen steaming carrot muffins. Without burning her fingers, she flipped the muffins out of the pan and onto a plate before Foaly. The depressed centaur instantly started to gobble the pastries, only wincing slightly at the heat. Trouble looked at Caballine and she shrugged,

"They're his new favourite."

Trouble sat across from Foaly and waited for the centaur to stop eating. When he was done, Trouble said,

"I just got the memo. How are you doing?"

"What do you think? I just got fired from the best job I've ever had," Foaly said.

Trouble grimaced, "You're right. I shouldn't have asked. Was it because of Holly?"

Foaly nodded, "Sool caught me in a meeting with Dr. Frost. I suppose such meetings are illegal now?"

"Yeah. According to bylaw number kajillion."

Foaly made a weak neighing/laughing sound, "Anything else?"

"Well, he basically told us to let the Eighth Family and-"he made quotation mark signs with his fingers, "_the related civilians_, die off."

"Does he think the council are idiots?" Foaly cried.

Trouble shook his head, "I don't know. They've never been very supportive of Holly, especially since…since, Root."

"But the Eighth Family!" Foaly neighed indignantly, "They're fairies too, whether they like it or not!"

Caballine patted Foaly on the shoulder and placed another plate of muffins before him, "It'll be okay honey. Now that you're out from under Sool's thumb, you can look for Holly all you want."

"And I'll keep you updated on anything I hear at work," Trouble promised.

"No, no, no!" Foaly said quickly, "Please, stay out of it. I don't want anyone else to lose their jobs because of me. Dr. Frost is already under questioning."

"Foaly, you can't expect me to just sit back and-"

"_Hem, hem_."

All three fairies whirled around, trying to see who had made the sound. Suddenly, the messenger elf from earlier stepped out from behind Foaly's sofa and entered the kitchen. He kept his head down the entire time, and cleared his throat again, trying to get Trouble's attention.

"An official memo from the Council of Haven," he mumbled, not taking his eyes off the floor. Trouble marveled how the elf had found him at Foaly's apartment, and quickly snatched the paper out of the boy's hand. Foaly and Caballine leaned in to read over Trouble's shoulder.

_Effective Immediately: _

_Due to recent events, Mr. Ark Sool has stepped down as Commander of the LEPRecon force at the Council's request. Replacing him will be Major Trouble Kelp, who we feel will be a confident leader in these difficult times, and will bring the Eighth Family home safely. _

_Approved by The Council of Haven_

Trouble stared in disbelief at the note, warmth infusing his body. Sool was gone, and he was the new Commander!

Foaly pounded his friend on the back and said, "_Stepped down at the council's request_!? Well, that's a fancy way to say 'fired'."

"Congratulations!" Caballine said.

Trouble looked up from the note and smiled at the two centaurs. The little messenger boy seemed to have disappeared magically. "Thanks you two. This is just…wow."

"I know!" squealed Caballine, "Now, if only Foaly could-"

"_Hem, hem_."

Once again, the three friends turned to see the little messenger elf standing in the living room with a note. He shuffled forward and pushed the note into Trouble's hand and mumbled,

"Congratulations Commander Kelp."

Trouble almost laughed, "Thanks…er-"

"Moss."

"Moss. I'm sure we'll be seeing you again soon."

With that, Trouble read the third memo of the day.

_Effective Immediately:_

_Along with Major Trouble Kelp's promotion, we would like to announce that Mr. Foaly has been reinstated as the LEP's technical adviser. _

_Approved by The Council of Haven_

Foaly neighed with joy and grabbed the note from Trouble's hand, kissing it. Caballine skipped around the kitchen, knocking over several appliances and electronics with her rump in the process.

"Now it's my turn to congratulate you buddy," Trouble said and clapped Foaly on the shoulder.

"Looks like things are going to get a lot better around here!" he said, "Now come on, we'd better get back to the station. I have to make sure whoever they hired to replace me didn't mess with my computer at all."

Trouble smiled, then saw the clock and groaned. He had been up for over 36 hours. Never the less, he followed his friend out of the apartment. He was the Commander now and there was no time for rest. All of Haven was counting on him to find Holly and the demons.

As they walked along, Trouble heard Foaly humming to himself loudly and asked, "What song is that? I've never heard it before."

Foaly smiled wickedly, "Oh, just a little Mud Man ditty, came out a few years ago. By some guy named 'Alice Cooper'. Isn't that a weird name?"

"How does it go?"

"Well, I've changed the lyrics a little bit-"

"Just sing it," Trouble said.

"Okay, here we go: _Soooooool's out for summer. Soooooooool's out for-ever!_"

****

A/N: Thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Gold stars to anyone who can guess which infamous teacher I based the messenger boy off of (It's pretty easy). Note that my name is not Alice Cooper and I do not own any of his works, nor claim to.


	11. Doodah Saves the 'Day'

Mulch

"_Another criminal turned do-gooder."_

Breathing hard, Mulch Diggums ducked behind the large dumpster. This little sprite was fast and dwarf legs aren't meant for running.

It was late afternoon when Mulch had received an anonymous tip that the infamous graffiti artist 'Poison Ivy' had been spotted defacing a nearby alleyway. Normally, Mulch would have passed the case over -it was probably just a local teenager acting out- but if he didn't get some cash soon, he would lose his and Holly's office.

With shaking hands, Mulch pulled the crumpled picture from his vest pocket and studied it. The shot was taken from a security camera and was fuzzy to say the least. In it, a young female sprite could be seen holding a can of spray paint and a scribbled message was still drying on the wall beside her. 'Poison Ivy' was well known by the LEP as well as the Haven population. Barely a day went by that she didn't cover the front of some building with a crude message and incite the ire of the locals. For just a troublesome punk, there was quite a large reward for her capture, even if all the punishment she would receive is community service.

Thanks to the tip, Mulch had been able to get ahead of the sprite and was now waiting for the young girl to cross his path. His tipper had said that Ivy would come down this alley to hide her paint supplies in the same unused dumpster Mulch was now hiding behind. It was a simple plan. The sprite would come running down the alley and all Mulch would have to do was catch her in his mouth from below. Fool proof.

Moving quickly, Mulch removed a large ice pick from his belt. He would have to remove some concrete before he could dig. The concrete wasn't thick, but could still be fatal to the dwarf.

Mulch's eyes scanned the ground, searching for a crack in the worn alley road. Finally, he spotted one directly before the dumpster and drove the pick into the ground with as much force as his tired muscles could muster. Several other cracks formed and Mulch bent to the ground, hauling chunks of concrete out of the way. Underneath he could smell rich earth. The hole would be quite conspicuous and he just hoped that Poison Ivy wouldn't notice it until it was too late.

Hearing light footsteps approaching from around the corner, Mulch moved the last piece of concrete aside, unhinged his jaw, and dolphin-dived into the dirt. As swiftly as he could, Mulch dug down as deep as he was tall, and performed a maneuver called commonly a 'U-turn', flipping himself right-side up again. Now he was prepared for the sprite's arrival, like a trapdoor spider waiting for its prey, except far less deadly.

The footsteps approached faster now and Mulch could hear the clink of the aerosol cans in the sprite's arms. Just a few more feet…

Mulch saw the girl's foot hover above the hole and prepared to blast himself upwards. Unfortunately, thanks to the hard-packed qualities of the dirt, Mulch had little air to spare, and not nearly enough to lift his body from the hole.

In the time it took Mulch to realize this snag in his plan, Poison Ivy discovered the hole she had almost stepped in. With a shriek, she looked at the gaping maw that was Mulch's mouth, neatly dropped her collection of spray cans 'down the hatch' and took off into the air, her dragonfly-like wings buzzing.

Mulch gagged and slowly climbed out of his hole, spitting crumpled cans on the ground. Damn sprite. Already he knew she would be too far away to catch. Flying within the city was prohibited, but that didn't seem to bother this 'Poison Ivy' in the least.

Not for the first time in these past 5 months, Mulch wished Holly was still there. Even without her LEP privileges and trusty Neutrino, the elf had been irreplaceable. Not only was she fast but she also packed a mean punch. Working without her had been nearly impossible and had left the 'Diggums & Short Private Investigators' with very little money and fewer clients.

With an exasperated sigh, Mulch filled in the hole he had made and replaced the chunks of concrete. He knew he desperately needed the reward for 'Poison Ivy', but also knew it was pointless continuing when he was this tired and this…hungry?

With a terrific growl, Mulch's stomach alerted him of its plight and Mulch nodded. He could do with an early breakfast or two.

It was late afternoon, above ground time, so most of Haven was still asleep. Still, there were a couple of all-night curry bars still open for business and it didn't take long for Mulch to find one, its green neon sign buzzing loudly.

The restaurant was quite run-down and quiet. Besides Mulch, only a half-asleep waiter could be seen, blearily wiping down tables with a greasy cloth. Mulch swung into a booth and picked up a menu. Needless to say, there wasn't much variety.

Mulch was just about to order his breakfast, when the door of the curry bar swung open and banged loudly against the adjacent wall. Mulch turned around to look at the newcomer.

With a grin and a swagger that suggested he actually owned the curry bar (which he did, in part) Doodah Day walked in and trailing behind him, connected by a pair of handcuffs was…

"The infamous 'Poison Ivy'!" Doodah proclaimed, pulling the girl inside. The sprite glared at the pixie and attempted to kick him in the back of the legs. Doodah was too quick for the girl though, and jumped aside with barely a glace back. "Feisty one isn't she?"

Mulch watched with wide eyes as one fugitive lead another to the counter and sat down. What was Doodah playing at?

"Thanks for that tip earlier Ted," Doodah said to the waiter, "Catching her was a piece of cake, if I do say so myself. Flew right into my apartment window, without even looking. Like a little bird."

Slowly Mulch stood up as he began to realize what had transpired. This waiter must have been the anonymous tipper and now Doodah was going to take credit for his (almost) arrest!

"Doodah Day!"

Doodah whirled around on his spinning stool, in the process, pulling the unsuspecting Ivy to the ground. "Diggums! What do you want?"

Mulch strode over to the girl and hefted her to her feet, holding her by the shoulder, "What do I want? I want to know why you're stealing my business! 'Poison Ivy' was supposed to be my bounty!"

"No way! Ted here gave me the tip and I caught her, fair and square!"

"He gave me the tip first!" Mulch growled and both fairies turned to glare at Ted the waiter. Mysteriously, though, the sleepy waiter had seemed to disappear, fearing the wrath of both Mulch and Doodah.

"Besides," Mulch continued, "You didn't even go looking for her. You just sat at home on your ass until she just happened to fly into your apartment! It was just dumb luck!"

"Maybe," Doodah said in a sing-song voice, "Or maybe not."

"D'Arvit, Day! I'm the one with the P.I. business already! I need this reward to pay the rent!"

Doodah's ears seemed to perk at this tidbit of information and he raised his eyebrows in suspicion, "Pay the rent? Business not going too hot there Mulchie?"

Mulch gritted his teeth. He had said too much, "Maybe, or maybe not."

"Well, considering the kind of criminals you're after, "he looked pointedly at Ivy, "I'd say you're getting _pretty_ desperate there."

"It's because Holly's gone!" Mulch blurted and Doodah's childlike face suddenly filled with mock-sadness.

"Ah, poor Mulchie. Can't work without his precious Holly."

Silently fuming, Mulch turned to leave the restaurant when suddenly Doodah said,

"Hey Mulch. Do you mind if I start my own detective agency? I think I'd be pretty good at it."

Mulch whipped around, ready to reply angrily, when just then, an idea occurred to him. Even if he was a criminal, Doodah Day was very good at this work, and had multiple useful talents. He was quick like Holly, and could drive any type of vehicle available. Plus, he seemed to have an uncanny amount of good luck. Maybe this skinny little pixie could even save the business!

"Mr. Day," Mulch said slowly, crossing him arms and walking towards the sprite, "Could I perhaps offer you a position at 'Diggums & Short' instead?"

Doodah laughed loud and long at this comment, nearly falling off his stool, "Me? Come work for you? Did you eat some bad dirt or something Mulch? I think it's pretty clear we hate each other."

"You wouldn't have to be my friend Day, just my partner. We could split everything 50/50. Right down the middle," Mulch said enticingly.

For a moment, Doodah considered the idea, "Well, 'Diggums & Day' does sound a whole lot better than 'Diggums and Short.'"

"Come on," Mulch said, "When was the last time you had a legitimate job? Take a break from crime for a bit and join me."

Doodah thought some more. Back in the agency's hey days Mulch and Holly had been making quite a lot of gold each and had been popular with the general public. Perhaps he did need a new job…

"Okay Diggums. I'll do it, but only for a year, max. I've got bigger fish to fry than you, and they can't wait too long."

Mulch smiled, showing all of his teeth, "I knew you'd come to my side Day."

"Yeah, sure. When do I start?"

Mulch put an arm around Doodah which was quickly shrugged off, "Well, we've got to bring Ivy in don't we?"

Doodah nodded and turned to scowl at the young criminal, but was shocked to see an empty handcuff dangling from his own wrist. "Where'd she go?"

Mulch looked to the curry bar's doors and saw them swinging gently back and forth, as though a light breeze had just passed through, or perhaps, a young female sprite.

"Come on," Mulch said and grabbed Doodah's arm pulling him along "Looks like your first shift starts right now!"

****

A/N: This is sort of a bonus chapter, since it will be the only one starring Mulch. I can't believe I've forgotten him thus far! Once again, thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and reviewed so often. Next time on WYWO: Butler gets a visitor at his new home.


	12. Someday My Prince Will Come

Minerva

"_We've become good friends; she's the one that got me started reading fiction."_

"_It's Artemis this, and Artemis that. She had really built you up to be something special." _

It was December in the seaside village of Duncade, and not a pleasant one at that. Biting ocean breezes nipped at exposed skin, screamed down alleyways and under house eaves. The sky mirrored the sea, a boiling grey soup of fury and discontent. The usually bustling market was deserted, as were the busy fishing wharfs. At first glance, one might think the village a ghost town, save the warm light leaking through the frost covered windows of houses and local pub.

However, on this particular day, there was one person that dared to leave the warmth and safety of the inside, and after only a few moments, she was deeply regretting it.

Minerva Paradizo walked along the empty quay, shivering. With a frown she pulled her red wool coat tighter around her waist and shoved her gloved hands deep into her pockets. It never got this cold in the south of France.

Glancing behind her, Minerva saw her father's security chief Juan Soto drive away in the family's black town car. It had taken forever to convince Soto that she didn't need to be accompanied on her visit to Duncade. This was simply a meeting of friends. Never the less, Minerva wasn't surprised to find a walkie-talkie in her jacket pocket as she strode towards the rows of cottages.

From her other pocket, Minerva drew a small scrap of paper. On it a house address had been recorded, given after much negotiation with Mrs. Fowl, Artemis Fowl II's mother. Mrs. Fowl had been extremely reluctant to tell Minerva the address, and seemed unnecessarily concerned for her son's bodyguard. Strange.

The scrap indicated that Butler's house was right up ahead and within moments Minerva spotted it, as everyone did, by the pair of small window boxes outside. The French teenager ran quickly to the front door, eager to get out of the cold. She sharply rapped her knuckles of the wooden door, noted the high tech keypad lock, and waited.

After several seconds without an answer, Minerva stepped over to one of the front windows and, balancing on her toes, peered inside.

Unlike the other houses along the quay, Butler's house was dark inside. Through the icing of frost, Minerva could discern a small living area, a rudimentary kitchen and another door, probably leading to a bedroom. There was little furniture to speak of, besides the necessary kitchen appliances and a battered wooden table and chair. The walls were bare of photographs or art. Minerva frowned against the glass; it looked like such a bleak and miserable place to live.

For good measure, Minerva knocked on the door once more, without success. Why was Butler out on such a dreary evening?

With a tremendous sigh, Minerva leaned her back against the little cottage wall. Not for the first time, she wished she hadn't told Juan to wait for her on the road back to Dublin. She may be a genius, but how was she supposed to predict the weather in a place like this?

Minerva shivered again. Was it so wrong for her to want some time away from her father's bodyguards? Since the 'incident' with Mr. Kong, her father had barely let her out of his sight, never mind the country. Minerva marveled at how Artemis could live under the constant shadow of Butler.

'Sounds like punishment for being successful,' Minerva mused, 'But then again, maybe there's something more between those two than just bodyguard and principal.'

Ever since his disappearance, Minerva had done a fair bit of research of the infamous Artemis Fowl. If possible, she wanted to know how he had accomplished so many incredibly feats. Did it have something to do with those demons? Minerva couldn't deny the boy was a genius, he pushed the term to its limits, but was there something or _someone_ else working for him behind the scenes? These questions had bothered her for a half year now, and driven her fascination with the boy to practically an obsession. What did he have that she didn't!?

Following this train of thought, Minerva wondered where Artemis was at that moment. Of course, she knew that in fact 'that moment' could be anywhere from a millisecond to several decades in Limbo, but still, it was nice to imagine that he was still out there, somewhere, and that someday he would come home.

Resting her head against the cold cottage wall, Minerva gazed up at the tumultuous grey sky. Amongst the angry clouds, she could almost imagine his dark blue eyes staring back at her. They were such a unique colour. Mysterious, cold, and enticing at the same time. Without reason, she suddenly wished that however inter-dimensional travel and Limbo changed him, his eyes would somehow stay the same. They were easily his best feature.

Minerva shook her head violently, dispelling her thoughts like minnows in a pond. How whimsical she was lately!

'Blasted puberty,' she thought crossly.

A particularly strong gust of wind whistled down the quay, further scattering Minerva's thoughts. She started to shiver again and tucked her chin into the jacket's collar, thankful that she had decided against wearing a skirt this morning.

With a terrific buzzing, streetlights began to glow up and down the quay. It was barely 5pm, but already the sky was dark enough to indicate a much later time. Minerva stood up straight and surveyed the street again, deciding whether or not to call Mr. Soto for pickup.

'Perhaps Mrs. Fowl gave me the wrong address,' she thought, 'she was quite worried after all.'

Minerva was about to leave when she saw a dark, hulking shape round the corner of the last cottage on the quay and begin walking towards her. From far away, the person looked like a beast, slowly stalking its prey and for a second, Minerva felt fear tingle in the pit of her stomach.

After a few moments though, the person stepped under one of the newly lit streetlights and its identity was revealed.

"Butler!"

The man looked up and nearly dropped the three gigantic brow grocery bags he was carrying, "Miss- Miss Paradizo? What are you doing here?"

"Coming to visit you, of course," the girl replied.

Butler's forehead wrinkled with confusion as her continued towards his little home, "Alone?"

"I thought perhaps bringing a bodyguard along portrayed a hostile or business-like attitude. But that is not the case. I just wish to talk."

Still confused, Butler nodded and keyed in the correct code on the door lock, "Just installed it," he added for Minerva's sake. The girl 'hmmm'd in approval.

Butler stepped inside and flicked on the single, bare electric bulb, "Do you want to come in? You look pretty cold."

"Yes, thank you," Minerva replied, forcing herself to smile. _Of course_ she was cold. It was his fault she had been waiting outside for so long, after all.

"I don't usually get visitors, except for Mr. and Mrs. Fowl and they can't visit much now because of the twins," Butler said, setting the large grocery bags on the kitchen counter and offering Minerva the single chair.

"You take it," Minerva said and pulled a plastic milk crate over to sit on. Butler sat down on his regular chair gratefully.

"I assume you got my address from Mrs. Fowl?" Butler asked and when Minerva nodded, "I'm surprised she gave it to you. Ever since…Artemis's disappearance, she's been reluctant to let me interact with the general public. She thinks I'm insane."

"Like I said, I just wanted to visit. And if it matters, you don't look very insane to me."

Butler laughed gruffly, "Thanks. Are you on Christmas holidays?"

"As of yesterday, yes. Tomorrow I leave for Greece with father."

"That sounds nice," Butler said softly.

Minerva shifted on her milk crate awkwardly and gestured around the cottage, "So, do you work in Duncade now?"

Butler smiled weakly, "I work as a cook at the pub. Turns out bodyguard school can be good for something else besides protecting rich kids. It's not the greatest job, but it pays the bills."

Minerva returned the smile. "Is that where you just were?"

"There and then the market. I keep forgetting to buy groceries."

"Hmmmm. You know, this is such a nice little village that I was thinking-" Minerva suddenly stopped as Butler grabbed her arm, "Butler?"

"I know why you're here Miss Paradizo."

"Of course you do," Minerva retorted, "I've already _told_ you that."

Butler shook his head and released her arm, "No. The real reason you're here, and all I can say is, I haven't heard anything."

"Butler?" the French girl repeated.

"I haven't heard anything about Artemis. That's why you're here. To find out when they're coming home."

"I would have loved to hear any news, Butler, but truly, I just wanted to see you."

"Really?" Butler said, actually surprised.

Minerva laughed joyfully then grew serious, "Butler, do you remember what you told me, that day we parted at the airport?"

The giant bodyguard shook his head.

"You said that Artemis grew up too fast, and I should just 'enjoy being young and free'. Well, here I am, young by most standards and here on my own free will. I just wanted to thank you for all of your services 6 months ago."

"Sorry I don't live in a nicer place then. It's not really set up for company," Butler said, practically blushing.

"It's…a nice change of scenery."

Butler's deep laughter filled the cottage and after this, conversation flowed more easily. Despite their many differences, the young French girl and the Eurasian bodyguard got along quite well.

Later, during a delicious supper, Minerva observed, "Besides your job at the pub, what do you do around Duncade for entertainment?"

Butler thought for a few seconds on this question, and then said, "When it was warmer, I fished down at the wharfs, and I still practice Tai-Chi and yoga everyday."

"That's it?"

"Well," Butler continued, "I didn't have much free time when I worked with Artemis, and I've never liked vacations much."

Minerva listened to this while gazing around the cottage, obviously looking for more clues to Butler's hobbies. Finally, her eyes rested on the far wall, which was bare. "Do you read Butler?"

"Er…manuals and newspapers mostly, why?"

"Because I think that that wall would be the perfect place to hang some shelves."

"I guess so," Butler replied, scratching his head, "But I don't have any books."

"That's okay. I can lend you some. Reading novels is a favorite past time of mine, but lately, I find good-quality literature to be lacking."

"Okay. Thank you Miss Paradizo."

"Minerva, please," the girl reprimanded kindly. "Then it's settled. The next time I visit, I'll bring a couple of my favourites. We'll start with tragedies and dramas and then work towards comedies and then possibly…romance?"

Butler coughed loudly into his coat sleeve, "I don't think romance novels will be necessary Miss- Minerva."

Minerva winked at the bodyguard, "Maybe someday perhaps?"

"Someday," Butler said, almost guiltily.

"Someday," Minerva agreed, whimsical once more, "Someday."

It was December in Duncade, and for a certain ex-bodyguard and his new friend, a pleasant one.

****

A/N: Forgive me for the 'bookend'. Ending it with the previous line just didn't seem right. Note that somehow, I've managed to turn Minerva into Artemis and Snow White (again with the Snow White?!) in one chapter. Gah, I hate her so much…Minerva I mean, not dear Snow White.


	13. It's Time

Angeline & Artemis I

Disclaimer: I do not own the Rotunda Maternity Hospital in Dublin, Ireland. It's a real place 

Angeline Fowl was standing in front of her armoire, choosing an outfit for the day when it happened. A winter chill had begun to seep through the windows, reminding all of the approaching yuletide season, and Angeline was contemplating going shopping for a new wool coat when she felt something give way within her.

This was not Angeline's first child, yet she was surprised to see the carpet below her feet darken with amniotic fluid and couldn't help but allow a small cry escape her lips,

"Oh."

Then, without warning, the contractions started. A horrible squeezing feeling clenched Angeline's insides, as though her muscles were trying to pull themselves free of her bones. It lasted over half a minute and Angeline reached out to clutch the armoire's door handle, holding herself up.

"Ow."

When it was over, Angeline breathed a sigh of relief, though she knew the next wasn't far off. At least it was beginning. The wait was finally over. One of the twins must have felt the same way, and Angeline smiled weakly as she felt it shift inside her womb, extending a leg or foot against the inside of her belly.

"Don't worry little ones, it won't be long now," Angeline cooed, and caressed her stomach lightly.

That was when Timmy burst in the door.

****

Artemis I was sitting in the library, listening to the patter of rain on the windows and partaking in an engaging autobiography when it happened. A winter chill had been seeping through the windows and looking up from his book he reminded himself to tell the housekeeper to check the window fittings, when he heard hurried footsteps rush past the door.

Putting his book down, Artemis saw one of the maids, Theresa was her name, stop by the door, eyes wild.

"Theresa? What is it?" Artemis asked, though in his heart, he already knew.

"It's Miss Angeline! We heard a cry come from the master bedroom-" she replied breathlessly, but Artemis was already gone.

Artemis Senior flew past the maid, mounting the stairs and passing the group of frantic servants within moments, despite his artificial leg. He reached his and Angeline's bedroom door and skidded to a stop before throwing said door wide open.

Angeline was standing in front of the armoire, still dressed in her silk nightgown, which ran snugly over her swollen stomach down to her ankles. She was frozen, one hand on her stomach and the other holding the dresser door handle, a stone angel despite the look of pain on her face.

"It's time?" Artemis asked, reaching out to take Angeline's shaking hands.

Angeline smiled at her husband and taking his hands, ran her thumbs across the backs. "It's time."

Artemis squeezed his wife's hands tighter and looked over his shoulder at the collection of anxious servants gathered at the doorway.

"It's time?" Theresa asked, nervously tucking a thick lock of auburn hair behind her ear.

Artemis nodded confidently at the crowd. "It's time. You know what to do."

With those few words, the quiet master bedroom was transformed by a whirlwind of activity. For nearly a month, the staff of Fowl Manor had been preparing for this day. The preparations were actually taken so seriously that Artemis I had organized and supervised the drills himself. So far, there had been three 'births', according to Artemis' request and Angeline's greatest displeasure. He would allow nothing to go awry.

With military like precision and speed, the staff entered the room and began preparing Angeline for her trip to the hospital. The goal was to get Artemis, Angeline and all necessary personnel to the hospital as quickly as possible.

Artemis stood in the centre of the bedroom, conducting the activities as though this were an orchestra,

"Extra clothes?"

"Packed, sir."

"Excellent. How about the car seats?"

"I just positioned them in the Bentley, Mr. Fowl."

"And the traffic reports? What's our ETA?"

"Traffic light on all major highways sir. We should reach the hospital within the hour."

"Thank you. How about the breast pumps?"

Angeline whipped around to glare at her husband, nearly throwing the maid who was fixing her hair across the room. "Breast pumps?"

Artemis grinned at his wife slyly. "You never know."

As predicted, within the hour Angeline Fowl had been dressed, hair and make-up done appropriately, supplied with several fashionable yet comfortable sets of pajamas and maternity wear (Angeline was actually thinking of starting her own line), loaded into the family car and driven to the Rotunda Maternity Hospital in Dublin.

****

"Timmy, stop pacing."

Artemis looked up from his twisting hands and to his wife. Angeline was currently hunched over a bright green 'birthing' ball, holding the hand of her midwife, a no-nonsense naturopathic nurse named Melinda.

"Is it supposed to take this long?" Artemis said nervously. "I don't think it's supposed to take this long."

"Your wife is doing fine Mr. Fowl. Only six more centimeters to go, and then we'll start pushing," Melinda said soothingly, patting Angeline's hand as she grimaced, another contraction wracking her slim frame.

"You just don't remember last time because you were at that silly business meeting. Arty took longer than this," Angeline added through gritted teeth as she rocked back and forth on the giant green ball.

Artemis felt a shard of ice prod his heart. Instead of staying by his beautiful wife's side during her first child's birth, Artemis had been attending a business meeting in Munich. At the time, Artemis had ignored the feelings of his wife, promising himself that the outcome of the meeting would make her much more pleased in the future.

The meeting was brief. The plan to illegally ship cola over to Moscow was in its earliest stages.

Artemis dropped his hands and walked over to Angeline. Melinda quickly darted out of the way and whispered,

"I'll be back in a moment Mrs. Fowl."

"Thank you Melinda." Angeline eased herself off the birthing ball and into one of the hospital room's chairs. She then turned to Artemis, waiting.

Artemis knelt before his wife, his metal knee clinking on the floor. Slowly he looked up to Angeline's eyes, over the soft rolling hills that had become her body. "You will never know how sorry I am Angel."

"I'm not angry at you Timmy. Being held hostage by the Russian mafiya for 2 years is a pretty fair punishment for missing your son's birth, if you ask me." Angeline laughed, her brown eyes sparkling.

Artemis Fowl I stared at this wife, mouth agape. Did she just make a joke about the 2 year absence that drove her insane and nearly ended in his death?

Artemis stood up suddenly and turned towards the door, his mouth a grim slash. "Melinda?"

The nurse's blonde head appeared instantly around the doorframe, as though she had been listening to the entire conversation. "Yes, Mr. Fowl?"

"Could you contact one of the anesthesiologists? I believe the pain is affecting my wife's mental capabilities."

Angeline shot her husband another glare, which clearly told Artemis to shut up, and as Melinda interpreted, for her to stay put.

****

It was now past noon, and the Fowls were in the sixth hour of Angeline's labour. Outside the Rotunda Maternity Hospital, the rain drizzled endlessly and it seemed Dublin would go another year without so much as a single flake of snow on Christmas Day. Inside the building, Angeline had been moved to the hospital bed and had moved to the third phase of labour, formally known as the 'Transition' phase, but more commonly known as the screaming, crying, and 'You stupid –insert vulgarity of choice here-, you did this to me!!' phase.

Angeline Fowl was not common though. Though she was squeezing Artemis' hand tight enough to make it lose all blood, she had not progressed to swearing at him- yet. The doctors said everything moving along smoothly and routinely and Angeline, despite the ghastly contractions, was quite pleased. The twins, _her_ babies, were coming.

Artemis focused on breathing deeply and regularly as he mopped his wife's brow and held her hand. He had heard horror stories of overemotional husbands fainting at their wife's bedsides, and though he had long abandoned his constant cold and businesslike façade, his reputation really couldn't take another blow like that.

Although Artemis Fowl Senior was quite intelligent in his own right, he had never shared his son's interest in all things medical. He imagined Artemis Junior's own reactions to their current situation, and was saddened to realize how clinical and completely _un_emotional he was likely to be. Would he even care for the well being of his mother? Artemis shook his head. No, of course he would. The Fowl men would do anything to ensure the health of their queen.

"You're doing great Angel. Keep it up," he murmured into her ear and Angeline smiled as best she could. The contractions were coming alarmingly fast now.

"Almost there Mrs. Fowl," Melinda called from the end of the bed. "We're at ten centimeters."

Angeline gave a stifled scream as her contraction peaked, then looked up at Artemis, brown eyes brimming with tears. "They're coming Timmy. Our babies are almost here."

"Okay Mrs. Fowl, you should be able to start pushing now," Melinda said and Angeline nodded. Her body had just given her the same message.

"Annnnnnnnd…push!"

As the next two hours followed, Artemis continued to hold Angeline's hand and watched, amazed, as Melinda coached her though the birth. Due to his very sheltered childhood, Artemis I had never seriously injured himself (if you don't count the loss of his leg as an adult), yet he doubted that he could have dealt with _any_ possibly injury as well as Angeline was handling the birth of not one baby, but two. After a few repetitions, Melinda and Angeline had developed an effective pattern of breathing and pushing that seemed to moving things along quite smoothly. Angeline Ross Fowl was a strong woman and Artemis smiled proudly.

Finally, just as the winter sun was setting behind the thick blanket of clouds that was the Irish sky and after eight hours of labour, they came.

Melinda popped her head up over Angeline's blankets and smiled. "It's time."

Artemis looked down at Angeline and whispered in reply, "It's time." Angeline's answer was, however, more along the lines of, "Aaarrrggghhh."

With two more terrific pushes, the first of the twins shot into the world, screaming at the top of his lungs like all babies should.

"Congratulations Mrs. Fowl!" Melinda cried, lifting the newborn onto Angeline's chest. "It's a boy!"

People often say that newborns are quite ugly, but at that moment, and forever more, Angeline thought her son was beautiful. Yes, he may have been slightly wrinkled and his extremities may have carried a purple tinge (a condition caused from being born late, or as Artemis Senior would later tease, being "overcooked.") but he was still perfect. The fingers and toes were all there, and with those vocal chords, it looked like he had a promising career as an opera singer or stockbroker.

"Don't give up on me now Angeline!" Melinda called, her head back between Angeline's legs. "We've still got one more to go!"

Reluctantly, Angeline wrenched her eyes away from her son, allowing the waiting nurse to whisk him away to be weighed, and focused on the task at hand. Melinda was right. They weren't done yet.

Barely four minutes later was Angeline and Artemis' third son introduced into the world. The boys would be nearly identical as they grew older, but already Angeline and Artemis could tell the difference. The first twin had been quite vocal, yet this one was strangely quiet. Besides the normal first shrieks, the second twin was calm, staring up at his parents with blurry newborn eyes.

"Another scheming Fowl male- aren't I lucky?" Angeline said breathlessly, and relaxed back against the multiple pillows on her bed.

Within minutes, Melinda had completed her work, and stood up. Her gloves were covered with various bodily fluids, but she was smiling as widely as Artemis. Another successful birth.

Just as quickly, the nurse returned with the twins in hand, weighed, measured and tagged. Angeline reached out her hands to take the twins and held them to her chest.

With a sigh, Artemis pulled a chair over to his wife's bedside and collapsed into it. His hands shaking, he carefully stroked the twin's backs, just as he had with the ultrasound picture so long ago. How could he have missed this the first time?

"My boys," Angeline whispered, kissing each of the twins and her husband in turn. Artemis studied his wife's eyes. Surely she could not mean _all_ of them?

"Yes Timmy," Angeline continued. "I just know it. He's watching over us…from _wherever_ he is."

Artemis Fowl I looked around the small hospital room and then down at his newborn sons. Butler had told them that Arty had discovered a magical race and after all the magic he had witnessed today, Artemis Senior felt that maybe, just maybe she was right.

****

Their names were Beckett and Myles Fowl.

Angeline and Artemis had been debating several different names for weeks, and upon entering the hospital, had been uncertain as to what to name the family's newest arrivals. However, the moment Angeline had seen her sons; the names had just clicked into place.

The older of the twins was Beckett, named after the famous Irish playwright Samuel Beckett. The name also had a perfectly fitting second meaning: beehive. Anyone who saw baby Beckett would have agreed, for truly, the child was as active and busy as one, constantly squirming in his crib and fighting the restraints of his wraps.

The younger and quieter twin was Myles. The name was derived from the Latin word for 'soldier', miles. Again, the name seemed to fit the boy perfectly, for as active and busy as his brother was, Myles was quiet and stoic. Early on it seemed the two would have to sleep in separate cribs, as Beckett often kept Myles awake with his constant thrashing.

Angeline, Artemis and the twins stayed at the Rotunda Maternity Hospital for two more days, as the twins recuperated from their very stressful birthday 'party'. The hospital boasted several comfortable post-natal suites, and Angeline was thankful for all the rest she received. The Fowls didn't have many living relatives, and so there weren't many visitors. Butler did stop by on the second day, but didn't look eager to stay for long. Perhaps the absence of his charge was just too glaringly obvious in this happy family's new world for him to bear.

When the twins were finally ready to come home, Artemis summoned all of the Manor's staff to the hospital. During their stay at the hospital, the staff had been working furiously, completely baby-proofing the surprisingly dangerous mansion. All those staircases? The fire places? And no one could forget the kitchen! The entire place was practically a death-trap!

"We really should consider getting the boys a bodyguard," Artemis commented as he wheeled Angeline out of the hospital.

"They've already got a nanny, Timmy, plus, why should they need a bodyguard? All of our business is legitimate now, right?"

Artemis was silent for a moment, as he helped his wife into the family's town car and out of her wheelchair. This however, was enough for Angeline to get _very_ suspicious.

"Timmy? Artemis? We _are_ one hundred percent legal, aren't we?" She said, eyebrows raised and a dangerous light flashing in her eyes.

Artemis handed the wheelchair to a nurse and closed the car door, speaking through the shrinking opening. "Ninety eight percent."

He smiled as he heard his wife's outraged shriek from inside the car and casually walked to the passenger seat. Despite all the changes, all the hardship and sadness in the past 3 years, he was still the same old Artemis Fowl II, entrepreneur extraordinaire.

Angeline silently fumed in the backseat of the town car, her eyes darting between the back of her husband's devious head and the precious faces of her twin boys. In the past years, Angeline had changed too, but deep down; she was still the same old Angeline Ross Fowl, humanitarian heroine.

Yes, in the past three years the Fowl family had changed dramatically. From the supposed death of their father, a mother that had fallen into insanity, a dimension hopping older brother, and now, the addition of twin boys. However, they were still the same old Fowls, and no matter what, you could bet that nothing would ever be one hundred percent legal.

****

A/N: Huzzah! It's finally here! The much awaited, much anticipated, and much delayed Myles and Beckett birth chapter! This one required a lot of research and I am much relieved to be finished. I wanted to be well versed in the stages of labour, but still make this a little humorous. Unfortunately, this meant 'dumbing-down' Artemis Senior a little bit, and I apologize if he seems OOC. Also, picky readers may have noticed the addition of a maiden name for Angeline. This was taken from my other fic 'A Night at the Ivy'. Thank you for reading, and my apologies for the extremely long author's note. Reviewers, do you worst!


	14. Way Better Than the News

Foaly

As in all cultures, art is an important part of fairy life. Every weekend, hundreds of Haven's residents flock to different art shows around the city to view the newest paintings, sculptures and photographs from various artists, drink imitation champagne and eat crackers topped with cricket pate.

Although most works are well received by the public, by far the most popular pieces are ones capturing the beauty of nature on the surface. In fact, it is not rare for rebellious fairies to enroll in art classes before sneaking above-ground, just so they can make a few ingots of gold on a sloppy sketch of a tree or flower. Even more devious, it seems, are the art galleries that actually commission criminals to slip past security and create these works of art, just so more guests will visit their shows. It is even said that once a particularly desperate gallery asked the famous dwarf Mulch Diggums to construct such a piece for them, but were subsequently turned down. Apparently, the dwarf was more interested in stealing works of art than creating them.

However, dating the LEP's Technical Advisor did have its perks, and for Ms. Caballine, this meant a major advantage in the world of sculpture. Instead of illegally sneaking up to Ireland to sculpt an ancient oak, Caballine could visit the Emerald Isle whenever she wished, just by asking her genius stallion-friend, Foaly. As a result, she was now one of the most successful and commissioned artists under the earth and attended shows at galleries every weekend.

The two centaurs made quite a couple, Foaly and Caballine. While Foaly continued to excel at his job, and kept all operations at the LEP running smoothly, Caballine's own star was quickly rising. It got to the point that the two were actually photographed for Haven's gossip magazine, _The People_, and stopped on the street by fans asking for autographs.

Foaly was extremely proud of his mare-friend. Besides her art, Caballine was a successful journalist for Haven's main news network, PPTV, and committed to reporting only the truth. Like Foaly and Holly, she could be a little rebellious, and had received more than one warnings from her boss about her little 'additions' to stories. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

Speaking of which, it seemed strangely ironic that on this particular day, in which Foaly planned to proclaim his love to Caballine and ask her hand in marriage, that he was unable to support her at one of her art shows. He had been preparing for the exact moment for weeks now.

"Come on, Trubs!" Foaly whinnied, his tail flicking side to side anxiously.

"Commander Kelp." The male elf frowned as he placed another data chip of 'paperwork' onto the growing pile atop the centaur's workspace.

"Fine, _Commander_. Now, why won't you let me have the afternoon off? I've been working like a packhorse all week for Haven's sake!"

"Just look at all this work you've got Foaly. You've been neglecting your regular duties lately. See-" he gestured to a book sized electronic device, "-these shuttles manuals haven't been updated for weeks!"

Foaly snorted. "It's not like you read them anyway. Stupid recon jocks."

Trouble glared at Foaly then continued, "And what about the flare detection system? We've lost two percent accuracy in the last month. One of our men nearly got barbequed yesterday because the flare came a second too early."

"It's not like I'm sleeping on the job Trouble! Ever since you were instated as Commander, I've been working non-stop on these infuriation time-tunnel calculations. At. Your. Order. It's no wonder I'm behind on the manuals."

Trouble sighed and leaned against Foaly's desk, looking at the gigantic gas screen that seemed to hover above Foaly's desk. His eyes reflected the many open windows and images, the pages of Gnommish calculations, and the various surveillance monitors. In particular, they focused on a live feed of the Irish coast, near the town of Duncade. For ten months now the camera had been running non-stop, with a second feed playing constantly at Foaly's apartment in downtown Haven. It was the original location of the Island of Hybras, home of the 8th family of fairies, but now was just an expanse of black water, rippling and sparkling under a crescent moon.

"I know Foaly," Trouble finally admitted. "I want her back as much as you do."

Foaly watched his friend carefully. He knew Trouble had always admired Holly, it was hard not too, but the tone he used; it almost betrayed something…more.

"Trubs-"

Commander Kelp quickly turned his eyes away from the picture of the undulating sea and back to the centaur. "I'm sorry Foaly. I know you had big plans tonight, but the Council's been hounding me all week. A couple think Sool didn't do such a bad job, so looks like I'm going to need those manuals ASAP."

Foaly nodded and picked up the first data disk, sliding it into his computer. "It really shouldn't take me that long. I am a genius after all."

"That's the Foaly I've come to know and love!" Trouble beamed and patted Foaly on the flank before leaving the OPS Booth.

Foaly opened the first document and surveyed it. He was right. If he went quickly, then he should be able to get everything done by the time Caballine's show started. And then, the real work would begin.

****

What seemed like moments later, Foaly's cell phone rang. Slowly, he pulled his eyes away from the computer screen and flipped open the handheld device. "Hello?"

"Foaly? Honey, what are you still doing at work?" came the reply. It was Caballine, and she sounded worried.

"Hey there sweetie. I know I said I'd get off work early today, but the Council's been busting Trouble's rump lately about me, so I have to stay to do some paperwork. I should be done really soon though. Has your show started yet?"

Foaly could hear the confusion in Caballine's voice. "The times haven't changed Foaly. It opened at seven."

"What?" Foaly's eyes quickly shot to the computer screen. Up in the top right hand corner, a digital clock displayed that it was nearly nine o'clock a.m., Haven Standard. Where had the time gone?

"Listen Foaly, its okay. Everything's just wrapping up here, and then a few of the girls and I are going out for drinks afterwards. I'll see you back at the apartment when we're done."

Foaly nearly smiled, despite the panic rising in his chest. Caballine was so calm and reasonable; she always put him at ease. "Are you sure? This is a pretty important show. I'm sure I could slip out and catch the ending-"

"Not as important as your job. It's just a show, and besides, you've seen all the pieces before. Finish your paperwork and keep the Council happy. I'll see you later."

Foaly whickered sadly, "Have fun with your friends."

"Bye Foaly."

"Goodnight Caballine." Foaly said and flipped the phone shut. Besides Caballine's reassuring words, Foaly was furious with himself. How could he let himself get so caught up in his work? He let out a sigh. It was easy, of course.

You see, while updating the shuttle manuals, Foaly had come across mention of one of his many inventions. Having created so many of these cleverly built life-savers, Foaly was pleased to find word of an invention he had forgotten about. In fact, he was even more surprised to find that this particular device had not yet been registered for a patent. His mind started racing. What if Koboi had got to it first? He had seen similar looking gadgets on her shuttles. He would not let her have the upper hand.

So, with blinding speed, Foaly fired off an application for the patent. The returning message was slow in coming, so, while he waited, Foaly passed the time by checking up on all his current patents, and in turn, all of Opal's.

As you can imagine, both Foaly and Opal together have quite a collection of patented inventions and, with a blink of an eye it was nine o'clock.

"D'Arvit," Foaly swore quietly to himself. Tonight at the art show, in amongst Caballine's many stunning sculptures, Foaly had been planning to propose. He had even relieved the golden horse-shoe from the top shelf of his closet and tucked it into his one and only suit jacket, which hung limply from a hook on the wall of the OPS Booth behind Foaly. Now what was he going to do? Caballine was out and about with her friends and Foaly was stuck at work, sulking. Would he be brave enough to ask her another night?

'Probably not,' Foaly though dejectedly, 'I may be a genius here at work, but in the matters of love I'm nothing but a day old foal, still wobbly on his legs.'

In this moment of despair, a spark suddenly lit up the darkness of Foaly's thoughts. '-a genius here at work.' Yes. He always prided himself on working best under pressure, and this would take speed and guts.

Closing all other windows, Foaly opened up a new page. The Council's website.

In a mere matter of seconds, the centaur had cracked open the city's mainframe like a human cracking a chicken egg. There it was. From this website, practically all aspects of Haven life could be controlled. Have a headache and want the sun-strips turned down? No problem. Have enough money to bribe the council to disable all police vehicles? You better be pretty rich, but yes, it could do it. Foaly had designed the system himself, yet had no official control over the files. Only the members of the Council were supposed to access these documents and controls, though they rarely did. Foaly knew for a fact that most of the Council member's passwords for the website were still, in fact, 'password.'

Foaly's eyes quickly found the controls for the city's giant video screens. All around Haven, large plasma screens proclaimed the latest news, train and shuttle times, and advertisements for various products and businesses. They were a vital part of Haven life and you couldn't walk through the downtown centre without seeing the glow of at least a dozen.

The technical genius' fingers flew furiously across his manual keyboard. Even after entering the site, the video screen mainframe required even more hacking. The last thing the Council wanted was some psycho like Opal getting her _mesmerizing_ eyes on every screen in Haven. Unfortunately, Foaly knew that if he was able to break into the mainframe, it would be a simple matter for the evil pixie, if she ever got out of prison, that is.

"Success!" he cried aloud as the video screens programming appeared on his screen. Next, he grabbed a near by camera and clipped it onto his desk, facing him. Now it was just a simple matter of inserting the video feed into the day's programming…

With a crackle of static, the smiling face of reporter Ginger Goldenhill disappeared off every screen in Haven. Fairies all over the city looked up at the screens in confusion. What was happening?

A moment later the image was replaced with one of an equally grinning Foaly. The feed was live from the OPS Booth, and he prayed that Caballine was one of the hundreds looking up. He would only get one try at this, for if Caballine was looking, there was a good chance that a Council member would be too.

"Hello Caballine." He began. "I'm very sorry I couldn't make it to your art show tonight. I'm sure you looked just beautiful and everyone loved your sculptures, as usual." He paused, gathering his thoughts.

"Caballine, you are the most amazing woman I've ever met. From even our earliest days together, I knew you were something special. You're my best friend, and also my confident. I thank you for all the hours I spent talking your ear off about my latest invention, and for all the days you comforted me when I was worried about work. You are beautiful in every sense of the word and I've decided that…that I can't live without you."

Across Haven, female centaurs and other fairies alike sighed wistfully. They saw where this was going and watched, rapt, as the flustered centaur turned away from the camera and went digging in the pockets of a dinner jacket hanging on the wall behind him. He returned triumphantly, brandishing a golden horse-shoe, the centaur equivalent to an engagement ring.

"Caballine…would you be so kind, so wonderful, as to accept this proposal, and marry me?"

Now Foaly's audience burst into applause. For once, the centaur had actually sounded humble. The applause hadn't lasted long though, as a loud knock interrupted Foaly's speech and three irate Council members burst into the OPS Booth, accompanied by two junior officers, guns blazing. The image of Foaly simply shrugged and said, a sly smile turning up the corners of his lips. "Come and get it."

****

Exactly two minutes, forty one seconds, a lot of explaining on Foaly's behalf and a lot of stampeding on Caballine's the two met outside Police Plaza.

Followed by an entourage of female fairies, Caballine galloped up to Foaly, eyes shining. Foaly didn't need any more invitation, and quickly swept Caballine into his arms, their lips locking. When they had separated, and after the catcalls from Foaly's watching co-workers died down, he said,

"So I guess that's a yes?"

Caballine laughed and kissed Foaly again, her lips smiling against his. "Oh, most certainly."

Foaly matched the smile and adjusted the wireless camera in his hand to get a better shot. It would be at least two hours before the Council figured out how to get the video screens back to normal by themselves, and even less before they gave up and demanded Foaly fix it for them.

All over Haven, male and female fairies alike cheered. This was way better than the news.

****

A/N: Last line edited.

I hope you all understood what I meant by the video screens. They're based on the illustrations of Haven from the graphic novels, but I'm not sure if they were described in the actual novels. Kind of makes me think of the 'telescreens' from 1984. Anyway, thank you for reading, and see you next time!


	15. The Three Guardians

Butler

'_Butler once told Artemis thathe had spent many lonely nights on the second sea stack with night vision binoculars, glassing the ocean for a sign of Hybras.' – _The Time Paradox

"Another bowl of stew please, Mr. Butler."

"Coming right up. Nick, get more potatoes from the store room!"

"-and a plate of bangers, if you don't mind."

"Not at all Pat… Hurry it up boy! There are hungry people out there!"

Gasping, Nick returned from the store room, laden with a gigantic sack of potatoes. Sometimes he really regretted volunteering to get a part-time job.

From his place at the cook stove, Butler looked up to watch the boy. With bowed legs and back, Nick hobbled slowly over to the head cook, and dropped the bag at his feet.

"There. I got your stupid potatoes already," he said, sneering.

In the past, this kind of petulant comment would have won the boy a swift kick in the backside, but lately, Butler had become a little more forgiving. Now, it just earned Nick a tooth-filled smile, and trust me, that was enough.

"Thank you Nick. I'm sure the customers will appreciate your hard work."

Nick balked, and his tall frame seemed to shrink as Butler looked down at him. This was not a man to be tested. "Sorry Mr. Butler. I meant: here are the potatoes you asked for. Anything else you need?"

Butler looked to the pot of stew bubbling away on the stove, then flicked a knife out of the block, handing it to the teenager. "Open the bag and chop up four of these for me. Quickly."

Nick's hand shook as he took the knife, then quickly knelt down beside the bag. There was something creepily casual about the way his boss handled knives. Like he'd been an assassin in a past life or something.

Leaving the boy to his task, Butler turned back to his stew. The beef and mince was simmering gently in its own broth while pieces of carrot and celery floated around the surface like ducks. All it needed was the potatoes and then it would be time for Butler's secret ingredient.

You see, although Butler had been trying to blend in with the locals for the past year, parts of his old identity kept slipping through his new façade. For example, the cordon bleu cooking training he had received as a part of Madame Ko's bodyguard academy.

Over his fifteen years of service in the Fowl family, Butler had grown accustomed to preparing world class meals as though they were a child's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Now that he was working as chef at Duncade's main pub (the so aptly named '_Sleepy Fisherman'_) his abilities were not as… challenged. He had only won the position in the first place because of the previous cook's untimely death shortly after Butler's arrival in Duncade (which he did _not_ bring about, despite what you all are likely thinking right now…).

At the beginning, the owner had been quite impressed with Butler's general knowledge of cuisine and the kitchen. He had quickly learned how to make all the items on the pub's menu, and since, had made a few additions of his own. Needless to say, the pub drew more customers than the village's only restaurant and had made the mysterious Mr. Butler, surprisingly well known.

Two pale and freckled hands interrupted Butler's thoughts, as they attempted to sneakily drop a handful of potato chunks into the stew pot. Butler looked down at Nick, smiled (kindly, this time) and stepped to the side.

Nick had joined the _Fisherman's_ crew a few months ago, in order to pay for his pickup truck. At first, the skinny teenager was supposed to work up front, wiping down tables and such, but after a few weeks, Butler had taken the boy under his wing. He may look nothing like Artemis, or act similarly, but he was young, and needed protection. That's all Butler wanted, something to keep safe, to treasure.

"Thanks Nick," Butler said, gently ruffling the boy's carrot-coloured mop of hair. The boy looked up in confusion at the cook. Mood swing much?

"Mr. Butler! We're still waiting on those bangers!" The voice of the bartender called, slightly muffled by the cacophony of conversation out in the bar.

"Hold your horses Pat, they're coming," Butler replied and then shot over his shoulder at Nick. "Sausages, please."

Without turning to watch, Butler heard the patter of Nick's feet as he ran off to grab the main ingredient of the traditional English/Irish dish, 'Bangers and Mash.' Meanwhile, his Irish stew was almost complete. With a cursory glance around the kitchen and out into the bar, Butler slipped a tiny envelope of spices from his pocket. Perhaps they weren't the most traditional ingredients, but nobody needed to know that. In his opinion, they made the dish edible, but the locals probably wouldn't like to hear that their favourite dish had been changed. The people in Duncade were as stuck in their ways as a piece of drift wood in mud.

"Here you go Mr. Butler."

Butler quickly slipped the packet of spices back into his pocket before turning around. No need to have to boy go blabbing about the secret ingredient to the boss was there?

"Thank you Nick, now, take this bowl of stew out to Mr. Pat would you?" Butler scooped a large helping from the completed pot of stew and handed it to the teenager.

"Butler, those bangers? There are hungry men out here!"

Butler sighed. "Coming, Pat."

****

It was nearly two in the morning when the pub finally closed. Butler was always surprised how little sleep the fisherman of Duncade could operate on. In four hours the men would have to drag themselves out of bed to board their boats and go to work. Once again, the name of the pub seemed strangely fitting.

Butler always liked closing the best. After Pat had drawn the curtains across the windows, and the voices of customers had ceased, the bar was filled with the warm, crackling of the fireplace. It was May, yet the nights in the village Duncade were still chilly, constantly blasted with sea spray as it was, and the fire was comforting. Nobody liked to talk during closing and Butler wondered if Pat and Nick, like himself, were listening with a near reverence, to the fire.

In the front, Pat was wiping down tables and the collecting the dozens of drained stout mugs. In the kitchen, Butler and Nick were washing dishes. It was always such a strange experience, this dish washing business. Before this, Butler had never worked on the same level as Artemis. He was always the servant, and the boy master, but with Nick, there seemed to be some kind of agreement of partnership, of equality. He needed the boy (even if Nick didn't know it), just as much as Nick needed Butler.

The once sizeable pile of dishes was waning when Nick broke the silence. "I can finish up if you like Mr. Butler."

"Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"Naw, it's Saturday tomorrow. Besides, even if there was school tomorrow, another half hour wouldn't make a difference would it?"

Butler shook his head slowly as he methodically folded his towel and hung it off the hook on the wall. "Thanks Nick. You have a good day tomorrow then."

"I'll try. "

From another hook, Butler pulled his overcoat, and wrapped it around himself. He patted his right pocket and felt the familiarly odd-shaped object still there. He hoped it the night would be as cloudless as the day had been.

Butler was about to open the pub's back door and leave when he heard Nick's voice again.

"Hey Mr. Butler-"

Butler turned obligingly to look at the youth.

"-What you always looking for out on The Nuns?"

The question surprised Butler. He didn't think anyone had noticed his late night journeys to the village's landmark sea stacks.

"Just a friend of mine. Goodnight Nick."

****

Luckily, the night was a clear as the day had been. Above the village of Duncade, the sky was alive with the twinkling of stars and the surrounding water was tipped with the silver light of the moon.

Jutting out into the ocean, stoic and stiff as their namesakes, stood the 'Nuns'. Two giant sea stacks, one bigger than the other, they stood guard over the village, watching throughout the day and night. And atop of Mother Superior, stood another watcher, another guardian.

Butler couldn't help but shiver underneath his jacket. His perch was persistently wet with sea spray, and the very air was filled with droplets of water. He frequently was required to wipe the lenses of his night vision binoculars, just to see clearly.

Ever since Foaly had told Butler the former location of the Island of Hybras, Butler had come every night to the sea stacks. Apparently, there was a lot of magical run-off in the area, left over from the island's presence and the time spell, and Butler couldn't help but feel it wasn't a coincidence that he had been drawn here. Sometimes he liked to believe that the reason the tiny 'Artemis' Flower' had been able to grow along the coast here was because of the magic too.

Foaly had only been in contact with Butler a few times. Usually this was through a coded Gnommish post card, or, even more dangerous, a shielded messenger fairy. However dangerous though, Butler cherished each word from the centaur; each hint that Haven was working on getting his charge home.

For example, Butler knew that Foaly had placed a high definition, infrared camera in a nearby cliff, to record all activity out on the water.

So, it was with this in mind that he peered out upon the silver tipped waters and knew that he wasn't the only one looking. Foaly may have constant surveillance of the area, but Butler couldn't afford to miss something himself. As soon as he got off work every night, Butler travelled on foot to the sea stacks to glass the ocean. He didn't trust anyone besides himself with the safety of Artemis…except maybe Captain Holly Short.

Butler's lips twisted into a smile as he thought of the redheaded elf. She was possibly the only person in the world that could break down the barriers around Artemis' heart. The only one who could surprise him, and the only one to make him regret his actions. Butler knew it was impossible, but he always imagined that Holly and Artemis would fall in love one day. She'd certainly be fun to have around the house, after all.

After nearly three more hours of surveying the ocean, Butler removed the binoculars from his eyes and yawned guiltily. The sun was just starting to raise her head over the horizon and the once silvery water was now ablaze with richer colours. There was nothing more he could do tonight.

With the greatest care, Butler wiped the lenses for a last time and capped them. He would return home for a few hours of sleep and relaxation before work again in the afternoon. Minerva had mentioned she might visit soon and Butler wanted to finish off her latest novel before she arrived so they could discuss it over tea.

Turning towards the nearest cliff, Butler called out to the night, hoping the camera would pick up his voice,

"Your turn Foaly. Bring 'em back soon."

Then, pulling this overcoat closer to his giant chest, Butler quickly crossed the bridge between the two Nuns and strode towards the little village.

He just _had_ to find out what happened to Scarlett and Rhett.

****

A/N: Sorry for the late update. Directing a full length play really takes it out of a girl, but don't think I'm giving up. Only 3 more chapters left!


	16. At Last

Commander Trouble Kelp

"_They were expecting us," said Artemis, unsurprised. "I thought as much." _

With an exasperated sigh, Commander Trouble Kelp of the Lower Elements Police leant against his desk, arms extended backwards and coffee-brown palms flat against the faux wood surface. Tipping his head back, he squinted as the harsh fluorescent lights attacked his corneas. Levelling his head, the commander then contented himself with staring at the office's only door, which an hour ago had framed the lithe, taciturn, figure of Wing Commander Vinyaya, head of operations at Section 8 and Trouble's friend.

Trouble heaved another sigh and furrowed his brow.

"_Just hang in tight Trouble," _she had said. _"I'll promise you'll be the first to know."_

"What is _taking_ so long?" Trouble mumbled to himself, glaring at the door as though _it_ was the cause of Vinyaya's tardiness.

"Quit being so dramatic," the office's other inhabitant remarked, swivelling in his custom-built chair. "They're not going to axe the project with so much money invested in it already."

Trouble glared over his shoulder. "How would you know? At this rate, they could have cancelled the funding and moved on to something else."

Foaly the centaur rolled his eyes in a manner very similar to one Artemis Fowl II. "_Because_, this is Vinyaya we're dealing with here, not that pile of dung Sool."

"What if she's overruled? Do council meetings usually take this long? What happens if there's a stalemate?" Trouble continued his nervous questioning, the strength of his gaze now threatening to scorch the titanium door.

Behind him, Foaly's eyes went for another lap and he tried to focus on the tablet in his hands. Despite their seemingly opposite personalities, at times like these, it was clear to see that Grub and Trouble were truly related. At just over 100 years of age, Trouble was one of the LEP's youngest-ever commanders and despite his past success as a Recon officer, simply did not have the decades behind him to feel as confident as he should be. Unlike Vinyaya and other senior LEP members, who were able to maintain a constant aura of calm and self-assuredness, Trouble was beginning to feel freezing tendrils of panic claw up his back.

Another quarter of an hour passed in silence between the elf and the centaur, Foaly diligently tapping away on his tablet, working away on one of his many projects, while Trouble continued to stare blankly at his office door and diligently ignored his own stack of paperwork. Then,

_Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beeeeeeeep._

Without bothering to knock, Vinyaya punched in her security code, overriding the lock on Trouble's office door and stepped inside.

Trouble's eyes snapped back into focus and he studied the older elf carefully. As always, her body language revealed almost nothing of her innermost thoughts or emotions. Standing in the doorway, she looked just as she had an hour ago, with her thick silver hair pulled back into a loose bun at the base of her neck and her face neutral. The only sign of emotion to be seen was the slight, barely noticeable crease on Vinyaya's brow which betrayed her calm facade and revealed the concern she felt for the young Commander.

"So?" Trouble said expectantly, standing up straight and facing Vinyaya.

But Vinyaya refused to answer Trouble's query. Instead, she strode over to Trouble's desk and sat down in his office chair, crossing her legs and leaning back, arms crossed over her chest. She angled her head slightly to the side and observed Trouble, the inspected now becoming the inspector.

Her gaze not moving from Trouble, Vinyaya said sharply, "If I could have a word alone with Commander Kelp, Mr. Foaly."

"No can do," the centaur replied without looking up either. "If this is about the Time Tunnel project, I've got to hear this."

"Fine," Vinyaya grumbled. With a kick, she sent the desk's other chair skidding out from underneath the desk. "Sit, Commander."

Trouble obliged. Was it just him, or did the Wing Commander seem upset?

Vinyaya didn't mince words. "They cut our funding Trouble; there was nothing I could do."

"What?" Trouble shot up from his chair, fists clenched.

"Sit _down_ Commander," Vinyaya ordered. Once Trouble had calmed himself, she began again.

"Like I said, there was nothing I could do. I argued for us, but the council outvoted me."

"How- how could they?" Trouble stuttered. "Don't they care about Hol- I mean, Captain Short, and the Eighth Family?"

"Well," Vinaya cocked her head further, "yes and no. They recognize that Captain Short has been a benefit to the force and to the People in general. But she's also cost us a lot of money, namely due to her involvement with-"

Trouble finished her sentence, his fists still clenched at his sides though Vinyaya couldn't see them.

"-Artemis Fowl."

Vinyaya nodded. "Exactly. Apparently, the Council still hasn't forgiven Holly for losing half their ransom in the siege of Fowl manor back during our first encounter with Master Fowl."

"Oh, so we should have just kept the money and left Holly with the Mud Boy?"

"These are the Council's sentiments Trouble, not mine. You know that I care about Captain Short," Vinyaya said calmly. "And it's not just the ransom money they're upset about. As you know, Haven's had an eventful past few years, thanks to Master Fowl and their concern is that, by rescuing Captain Short, they will also be rescuing the People's number one enemy."

"The _People's number one enemy_? Shouldn't we be a little less worried about that skinny Mud Boy and more about Opal Koboi?"

Vinyaya shrugged. "Koboi's in prison, that's all the Council cares about, although you and I both know she probably has some sort of plan up her sleeve. To them, Artemis looks like the obvious threat right now." She laughed, a short bark. "Cahartez even says we should charge Fowl with kidnapping...again."

"So," Trouble summarized, "the Council wants to slash funding to the Time Tunnel project to keep Fowl out of our hair even if it means losing one of the LEP's best officers?"

"Not to mention the entire Eighth Family," Foaly added.

"Right," Trouble said miserably, resting his elbows on his desk and massaging his temples. "Not to mention the thousands of demons."

Vinyaya was silent for a few moments before saying, with a touch of tenderness in her voice, "They're just reducing the funding Trouble. It's not as though the project is cancelled."

Trouble looked up. "Why wouldn't they cancel the project if they're so worried about Fowl coming back?"

"Because," Vinvaya said carefully, as though walking on a thin sheet of ice, "one, they don't want you as their enemy-"

"Good job preventing that so far-"

"-and two, they don't think that the project will succeed anyway."

Both Trouble and Foaly glared at Vinyaya, but the woman calmly held up her hands in a peaceful gesture.

"You two have to see sense. It's been, what, two years since Captain Short and Fowl went to Limbo?"

"Two years, one month and twenty-four days," both Trouble and Foaly murmured under their breaths.

"Fine, and in all that time, how much progress have you made? Not enough, according to the Council."

"There's not much we can do! The time tunnel is unravelling at its own speed, it's unpredictable!" Trouble was standing again, but at a look from the Wing Commander, he returned to his seat.

"I know Trouble, I know. At this rate, they could either show up tomorrow, or a thousand years from now, and frankly, the Council isn't ready to support this thing that long."

"And how is cutting our funding going to help them come back faster?" Trouble's voice cracked and he looked pleadingly at Vinyaya, who just shook her head and placed a comforting hand on top of one of Trouble's.

"Trouble, you should just let this go. Let Foaly work on the calculations while you go back to your regular duties. Officers go missing in the field all the time, it's not uncommon. Even Root-"

Trouble felt as though Vinyaya had kicked him in the chest. For a few moments, he stuttered, trying to find the words, to express the...gravity of his emotions.

"Vinyaya," he finally whispered, "You don't understand. This is...different than any other retrieval I've done. You know that I couldn't give a stinkworm's ass about Fowl, or really about the demons, even though I should. I only really care about...about saving Holly."

"I know," Vinyaya said softly, her brown eyes both wise and caring.

"No, you don't!" Trouble interjected. "Vinyaya, I'm in love with Hol-"

"I DID IT!"

And with that, the tension in the room snapped.

Trying unsuccessfully to suppress the furiously blush he was currently sporting, Trouble turned slowly in his chair to look at Foaly, whom he had nearly forgotten was in the office.

"You...did...what?"

Foaly seemed to be frozen, his arms thrown up in the air, the tablet clutched in his hand and his eyes bright. "The time tunnel, of course!"

Vinyaya raised an eyebrow at the centaur. "You were working while we were in a meeting?"

Foaly frowned, clearly not pleased with the amount of praise he was receiving. "It's not like I had much to say with Mr. Loverboy pouring his heart out over there."

Despite the jibe, it was 'Mr Loverboy' himself that was the first to Foaly's side. "What is it? What happened?"

Foaly held out the tablet, beaming once again as he went briefed them on the many complicated theorems and formulas needed to crack the time spell's code.

From what Vinyaya and Trouble were able to understand (amidst all of Foaly's gloating and jargon), the time spell which everyone had thought to be infinite, was actually time limited. Originally, yes, the warlocks who created it had meant it to last forever, thus keeping the demons away from conflict with humans and the other fairy families; however, this plan failed when the warlock's circle was broken. Since then, the spell had been slowly deteriorating, small time surges weakening the ancient bonds. To the demons, these surges were likely undetectable and not even Foaly had noticed them, assuming they were simply part of the original spell, until now. Not until the surges had started to result in the appearances of demons on Earth. By looking at the calculations he had used to determine when the demons would arrive, Foaly had found a pattern, which he then traced back centuries to when the spell was first created. As the eons went on, and the 21st century approached, the appearances became more frequent, and the pattern condensed, thus forming the funnel shape. According to the centaur, it was only as the time surges became more frequent that he suspected something was wrong and began to examine the numbers more carefully. Now, Foaly claimed, he could predict when Artemis, Holly, the demons, and Hybras would return, the final time surge, the final materialization.

"I don't have an exact date yet, but it's sometime very soon," Foaly finished, breathless and his furry cheeks flushed with happiness.

Trouble stepped slowly away from Foaly, his mind whirring. He didn't quite understand everything Foaly had said; only that it meant Holly would soon be coming home. At this thought, his heart soared and he felt lighter than he had felt in a long time. _Holly..._

"So...you've figured it out?" Vinyaya said, still skeptical.

"Yes!" Foaly neighed. "Holly is coming home, and we're going to be there when she gets here!"

"Well," Vinyaya sounded slightly amused, "what do you need?"

"What do you mean?" Foaly asked.

"If you haven't noticed Foaly, islands inhabited with thousands of demons don't just appear every day. I'm guessing the Mud People are going to be a little shocked."

Foaly caught on quick. "But, Vinyaya, this sort of thing will cost..." he faltered, "Alot. It will cost a lot."

"I know," Vinyaya said slyly. "I'll get Section Eight on it. That is, if you don't mind us taking over your project Commander Kelp. We do have a larger budget after all."

Trouble looked up, suddenly incensed, only in time to see Vinyaya slip out the office door.

"Wait- you mean _my_ budget got cut and yours didn't!"

Trouble swore he heard a faint cackle from the hallway before he was nearly tackled by Foaly.

"We did it, Trouble! We did it! Holly's coming home!" he whinnied, prancing around the office and looking just as happy as he had on his wedding day.

Trouble sighed, half out of relief, half out of exhaustion and sat on his desk, both dreading and looking forward to the months of work that were to come.

At last, his Holly was coming home.

**Ow. My brain hurts. Pseudo-science is so confusing, especially when you're trying to keep everything canon. Well, hope you enjoyed the long-awaited update anyways. More to come, including a few yummy pieces for 'Across Time and Space,' although those will likely be delayed as I devote 100% of my free time to reading The Atlantis Complex (3 dayyyyyyys!) **


End file.
